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3 Bumps

I need some advice......

I have been a SAHM for 12 years. Things are really bumpy now between my husband and I right now. I am wanting to go back to school. He says we can't afford it. I really think that he doesn't want me to, so I will have to stay with him.With our income, I'm pretty sure I could get some financial aid. I was going to do it online. Should I do it, behind his back? If we split up, I haven't worked in over 12 years. I have never went to college. I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to get any job. Especially not working in the past 12 years. I'm so confused. Please try to put yourself in my situation. What would you do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:50 AM on Jan. 21, 2011 in Money & Work

Answers (19)
  • If I were scared that my DH and I were going to separate and I didn't have any way to take care of my kids, I would absolutely go behind his back and start working on a degree.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:52 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • If he says his reason is because you can't afford, I think you should go find out if you can get financial aid then try talking to him again.
    Lobelia

    Answer by Lobelia at 9:53 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Even if you two didn't seperate what happens if something happens to him?  I say, have a plan and be prepared just incase.  No, I wouldn't do it behind his back but I would however tell him that this is something I am going to do with or without his support.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 9:54 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • i'd do it anyways, if u can get finacial aid, he can't say anything about not affording it. and its not his desision anyways, u may be his wife, but he does not own you! do it!
    good luck!
    mama2bof2

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 9:54 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • i've been there, sahm for 5 yrs, no school, left my sons father and had a ROUGH time supporting us, i would absolutely do it behind his back and if he gets angry try explaining to him, well this is the situation if you were to leave me i CANT do it on my own without some schooling, or try telling him "what if something happen to you, no ones gonna hire me without some school" I hope it helps
    Nicholeb211

    Answer by Nicholeb211 at 9:55 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Go for it. Seriously. What if he were to die someday? You'd have NOTHING to fall back on except life insurance (if that) and that won't last forever!
    Everyone needs an education or work experience. Period. Just because he doesn't like it doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. I would see not doing something that is counterproductive or a waste of time, but this will be better for you and for your family (with or without your husband) in the long run!
    Weigh your options....online classes so you don't have to pay for a sitter or daycare? Classes during the day so it's when your kids are in school?
    If you can get financial aid I would go for it! Good luck mama! Sometimes you just need to do something for YOU! xo
    CABlonde

    Answer by CABlonde at 9:56 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Apply for financial aid, go back and educate yourself so you can support your family the way you want too. If things stay rough between the two of you at least you will earn your degree and be able to put it to use. Best of Luck!

    sheer_heart

    Answer by sheer_heart at 9:57 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I would not do it behind his back - that would just add more trouble to an already troubled relationship. Sounds like the two of you don't need any more stressors. But I would find out if you can get financial aid, figure out a workable plan, and then approach him again with all the details worked out so there's no reason for you not to go. Also, if he asks why I would talk about what would happen if something were to happen to him, wouldn't he want you to be able to support the kids?
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:58 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Thanks alot ladies!!! Just needed someone else's opinion.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:58 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I would do a nannying course and get all the papers for being a childminder (look after children at your home/place). You have been a SAHM for 12 years which means 12 years experience with children. You probably can cook baby or children food. You need some exams and papers but after it you will be fine. Good and professional nannies, childminders earn quite a good money. You just have to think a bit different. SAHM doesn't mean you haven't done a thing for 12 years. It only means you didn't have a payslip. It's two different thing. You just need a good marketing (even selling yourself for yourself:)
    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 9:58 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

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