Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why do people do this?

Stay in a relationship that they know is dead. Stay for the kids and staying financially can't make you happy. I know it is the responsible thing to do and many do it, but how long can you live out of love and deny yourself the chance to really find happiness?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:35 AM on Jan. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • It took me all of 2 months to decide that it wasn't in the best interest of my child.

    She needs to see what a truly loving relationship is supposed to look like rather than settling for something less.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:37 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I don't even think it's the responsible thing to do. Kids are not stupid, and they will see right through that. It isn't a good example, and it isn't helping them either. I really always feel so sorry for the children when this is the situation.
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 11:37 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • That's a good question. But, unfortunately, there are too many complicated answers to it. I think, honestly, unless you've been there, you simply cannot understand it.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 11:38 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I am there and I know it is complicated and I have stayed but I am getting my courage to make the changes I need to make, but I know others that have less odds stacked against them that continue to stay and I wonder why they don't try in order to have a chance to be happy at some point in there life as well.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:40 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Fear of the unknown, fear of economic insecurities, fear of rejection from family and friends. I went through all of that when I got a divorce. It takes a lot of courage sometimes to make that decision to move on
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 11:46 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I will stay forever because I know that I am a lot happier being unhappy in my relationship then I would be struggling for money. We are a happy family, I just know that I was meant to be a single person and not involved with another human romantically. It is too late to change that so I will make the best of it.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 11:54 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Why do you presume to know who has what odds stacked against them? Your post here sounds like you are mad at yourself for staying so long and are trying to make yourself feel better off the backs of others in bad situations. That does not make you superior.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I dunno IMO too many people quit too easily. You should do everything you can to make it work.
    gulfcoastmom4

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 12:07 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • If you have children then sometimes you have to put thier lives and well being before your own. why should they suffer just because you are being selfish and "are not happy" . I think that a lot of mental anguish comes from a break up of parents and can hurt a child to where some dont ever get over it ............
    mistik75

    Answer by mistik75 at 12:52 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • To anon....I am not saying I am superior to anyone. I guess some people just seem to stay more out of convenience than desire to want to try or to have something better.

    To gulfcoast.....this is not an easy decision or one I am taking lightly, in fact I am still here and I have been trying for the last two years but I am still dealing with the same thing despite my efforts.

    To mistik......kids are not stupid and they see misery too and sometimes they can be taught more if the parent leaves rather than staying. I am seeing my children become disrespectful and rude copies of their dad and I am showing it is okay to settle and I don't think that is right either. I can also see it from the point of a child who came from a family that had parents that divorced as I was that child and actually it was the best thing my mom ever did was leave because he was a selfish jerk and she should not have to live like either.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:21 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN