Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Next Question, Please »
Answers / Life & Home / Relationships
1 Bump

Is this ok? I need to fix but have no idea how! adult content

My husband and I are in are early20s and have two small children. We always bicker but in more of a playful way. We disagree on just about everything. Lately are fights are escalating and he'll call me a b****, ect... He used to work 70 hrs a week to provide for our fam for about two yrs while I was home with our babies. He said me watching our girls was nothing, no work at all. Now I'm working in the home about 70 hrs a week with daycare and when I'm done with my 12 hr day I have to play the mom and wife role and do all the cleaning for the next day. He helps here and there with only our girls on occasion. He took two days of work to supposedly help me but all he does is lay around, he will take our girl out sometimes. He has a job but only works about 25 hrs a week. Its frustrating because every time I tell him that this is too much for me or I need help he starts screaming ar me saying that he used to do and I can't handle a job. He'll never let me live down that for two yrs he busted his ass. I get it but now I need help and he just wants to say I'm worthless and throw the past in my face. I don't know what to do. It's miserable.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:25 PM on Jan. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Tell him to grow up. Being a SAHM is the hardest job anyone could have. He's a whiner.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:27 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • The only fix that is needed is to HIS attitude. I don't know how you are going to do that.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 1:28 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Tell him that you have more than made up for the time he worked that hard and tell him that if he doesn't start respecting you then there are bigger issues at hand than who is doing what to maintain the house and family.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 1:29 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Ok I just vented and didn't really help. Tell him to show you how to be the "all that" woman he wants you to be. He shouldn't run his mouth about providing for the family. Being married is team work and you both give and take to provide a great home for the kids. Tell him to be a part of the team and not pull you down. It's about compromise and appreciation for what each other does.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:30 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • He is wrong. He should not be talking to you like that. You guys need to talk about this stuff when you are not around the kids and not arguing. Have an adult conversation in a calm manner.
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 1:30 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I found this site: http://swz.salary.com/MomSalaryWizard/LayoutScripts/Mswl_NewSearch.aspx

    Go there, type in the ages of children, if you stay at home or work..... then from there you can type in your zip code.

    Print it out and show him what YOU are worth!
    MrsDAP

    Answer by MrsDAP at 1:36 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • He'll never understand it, unless he walks in your shoes. All the venting, all the communicating will not work until he's hands on himself and that doesn't sound like it will happen anytime soon. Therefore, the best thing you can do is to begin making things around the home less complicated for you and stop insisting that he realizes that you are being pushed too much. Yes of course I understand where you are coming from. I work and have kids at home too. My dh didn't understand the care and time it took to take care of a household until he had no other choice but to step in and take on my role. Some men, its hard to get them to understand and for others its easy...the best thing you can do is to make it easier for yourself and stop trying to get him to understand something he's incapable of understanding...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:36 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Seriously, I think that's completely wrong. You should stop doing things for him, so that he has to do it. He'll get what you're talking about real damn quick....lol
    mamaziller

    Answer by mamaziller at 1:36 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • It's hard because I know I get angry and i can be mean. It's two sided but Im done living in the past. Why won't this ever get thru his head?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:40 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Been there, done that, got a divorce!
    sarchasmicangel

    Answer by sarchasmicangel at 1:53 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
Answers / Life & Home / Relationships

Next question in Relationships
Looking for a site

Next question overall (Beauty & Style)
I CAN SEE YOUR BUTT? adult content

Check out some of the top posts today in Groups: