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DD won't play with other kids at daycare.

We moved the beginning of December. She started a new daycare. I can understand not being as outgoing as she once was since there are different kids there that she doesn't have a 'bond' with.

Everyday she is excited to go since it's 1/2 day preschool. She wants to do schoolwork and even wants to do more when she gets home so that's about 7 hours a day.

For 4 hours it's free play but the teacher says that she will just sit in a chair until she is told to go play. Not told meanly, but it seems that she will sit until given another option rather than engaging on her own.

How can I or the teacher help her get past this? I know it's an adjustment but why so excited about schoolwork but not about playing with other kids?


Asked by Jademom07 at 2:01 PM on Jan. 21, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 34 (64,323 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Probably she is the waiting type. She waits for other children to play with her, or she waits for the teacher to introduce or get her involved into the group's life. Just think about it. She is the new child, she doesn't know anyone. The school work is interesting, she is good at it, the school work can't say you are silly or I don't want to play with you. Actually the school work can't say anything. So it is good. She just need to settle down in the environment. And December was only one month ago. She needs to be introduced to the other children and let her play with them. IT seems she won't make the first steps by herself. And to be honest how many adults would do the same? I think loads of them. So don't be afraid:) She is perfectly normal. She just need some time to adjust the new environment:)


    Answer by adriennfaklya at 2:08 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • My oldest was similar. She didn't play with the other kids at playgroup. So I had to talk to her. She didn't know how to start to play with anyone. SO we discussed saying hello and asking if they want to play. THis helped but she would only do this with 1 kid, then she brantched out to 2 kids in a few months. Now at K she has a groups of about 10 kids she plays with.
    Also she didn't like to color, so we got those learning workbooks and she devored them. Even to do this day she enjoys them.
    I would suggest doing the above and if the teacher is agreeable ask another student that the teacher thinks your daughter would get along with and ask the other student to ask you daugter to play. Or the teacher could start and organized game to spark her to begin to play.
    Other then that I wouldn't worry, she is young and it is all new to her. She just could really like rules and needs to know that she is allowed to play. GL

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 2:10 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Have you had a nice talk with her as to why she is relunt to go play with the others, there may be something going on that is not to her likeing and I sure would get to the botton of it, She sounds like a very sweet little girl and whereby she did well in her other day care leads me to believe there is something she needs to talk to you about.

    Answer by zbee at 2:05 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • i've had students like that. One way, the teacher can find something she likes and start to play/do it with her, as others see it and become interested she can draw them in and slowly pull herself out and let the kids get to know each other through play. Another way, have the teacher take her over to a play group and beging to play with that group, hopefully your little one will make freinds.

    Answer by boobarandbell at 2:05 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I'm a preschool teacher. I'm confused about why the teacher is not actively engaged with the children during playtime.

    Before the age of 7 or so, children NEED to have play modeled for them.
    So a main part of a preschool / Kindergarten teacher's job is to be right in there:
    - in the pile of blocks, being seen stacking up a castle and turning the blocks over to interested children.
    - In the doll corner she tenderly wraps a cloth around a doll and lays it in bed, and the children continue cuddling the dolls
    - she goes over to the fort-builders and brings in a box to be the car, and lets those children move in with their ideas.

    Outdoors she moves from sandbox to swings to climbing structure constantly, always engaging and talking with the children.
    She can foresee andprevent conflicts

    Younger than 4 1/2, children don't naturally play together. They play beside others or observe. "Free play" is a ridiculous practice

    Answer by waldorfmom at 2:58 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • (sp) reluntant...........

    Answer by zbee at 2:05 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • zbee- she started the other daycare at 10 weeks and went until december (3 years).

    Comment by Jademom07 (original poster) at 2:09 PM on Jan. 21, 2011