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m asking a question for a friend so anybody that knows anything or maybe has been through it any feedback might help

i have a friend that hasa daughter them mother of the child (we will call her bm) didnt tell friend about the child till te child was almost 3yrs old since friend found out about child friend has tried to be in childs life bm has let friend see child 3times bm has sent pic of child throw myspace mesages friend an bm have talk through myspace an face book about child an friend see child bm will say friend can see child but when the time comes bm backs out bm wont let fiends know where bm stays or have phone number for bm only contact is online inless bm calls friend privte so friend has not got to see child in almost 3yrs friend dosnt know what rights friend has but friend is learning friend is takeing bm to court for visitation rights friend found out he could do that an i must say when friend found that out friend took off runing with it so what are friends chances of getting visitation rights to child an if knone how dose all this visitation rights work please any feedback would greatly be appreciated

Answer Question
 
lovbingmommyof2

Asked by lovbingmommyof2 at 2:08 PM on Jan. 21, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • "Friend" can start paying child support on his own thru the courts and get visitations.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 2:12 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Sorry - I'm having a very hard time following this question. Generally, visitation arrangements are decided in court.
    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 2:13 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • If he is sure the child is his than find a good lawyer and go for the custody. Collect every piece of evidence he tried to have contact with the child and that the mum didn't let him. Save the evidence before the mum will delete them. Find a good lawyer and he will tell your friend what to do. If he can prove he is the father and the mom didn't let him to contact the child than he probably has a good chance to see the child. The only question is: why didn't he tried to go for a paternity sentence? I wish him luck though.

    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 2:13 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • this would be easier to read if it had puncuation and paragraphs.......sorry, couldn't even get through it.
    mama2bof2

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 2:14 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Hard to understand but...get a lawyer, go to court
    peace013

    Answer by peace013 at 2:19 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Forgot get a paternaty test first!!!!
    peace013

    Answer by peace013 at 2:20 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • see this is why they should just let guys come on here, so they don't have to play games like this and ask for a "friend" just to ask the darn question. He's asking something he wants to know and is trying to get our points of view.

    To answer: I'd get legal advice form a professional, not us.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Is it a good idea for a child to become attached to a man who cannot always be there for them?

    What influence can a child can receive from a man who visits regularly with the child, but then leaves and is gone for a day or two at a time (or, worse, for weeks at a time ! )?

    The main message is: "I am not worth enough for him to stay with me."
    "Other things in his life are more important to him than I am."

    Those are utterly destructive ideas for a child to think about himself.

    So, why would our friend in this situation want to put himself into the child's life?
    The only positive step would be if he worked to make a life and a home with the child's mother and contribute to the child's daily well-being.
    Otherwise, he would mostly be a destructive figure in the child's development.
    Without a close relationship to the mother, the most he can do if he wishes to help the child is perhaps to send money.
    waldorfmom

    Answer by waldorfmom at 3:23 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • wow @ waldorfmom the mother an father of a child dont not have to be together for both to have apart of the childs life thats not always th best thing some people do better when their not together an a father role in a childs life is way more then just sending money i hate when a man or woman get this ideal in their head if you aint going to be with me then you cant see your kid or kids wish some people would grow up a child is a child not a tool to use to hurt someone when a child is used as a tool the child is the oe that gts hurt the most some people need to relize when you became a mother or a father is no longer about you its about the child
    lovbingmommyof2

    Comment by lovbingmommyof2 (original poster) at 4:22 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • to everyone that has posted on this so far thank for the feedback :)
    lovbingmommyof2

    Comment by lovbingmommyof2 (original poster) at 4:24 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

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