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Habitual liar

My husband is a habitual liar. He lies about stupid crap, but I see it all the time and it aggrevates the hell out of me and I really do not think he even realizes it. And what is worse is he does it in front of the kids and I don't want them to think it is okay.

An example would be yesterday, my son was having a problem with a boy at school so my husband called the parents since he knows them to let them know what is going on. But some of the details were not the truth (mind you my son was standing there at the time). My husband proceeded to tell the parents that my son had talked to the principal or counselor about the problem this week (never happened) and told him that he had spoke to the school before about this a few months ago for the same reason (again not true). These are little lies that add to the story but they are not true and it bothers me a lot that he has added my son to this BS. I have asked him before why he lies and he seems to not hear me.

It is stuff that is generally not important but irksome. Like he will tell someone he went fishing when he did not and say that they caught no fish (I think to prove he is right or something). I don't know what to do. I don't want my kids it is okay to embellish cuz dad does it.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Jan. 21, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (7)
  • He had also told the parents that this had been going on for a couple of weeks, when my son told him just this week it started.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:41 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • That is a really bad habit. It is because he doesn't think his life and his authority is enough strong. So he needs to say: the counsellor, the school. So the other parent can't say: f*** of or worse just hang up the phone. And with the fishing it is like: I have an interesting life, I have things to do. The problem is that your children will learn how to lie and it is ok to do that because daddy does it. I would send him to a counsellor to sort this thing out. Because it is not good and not healthy. He has a 'I feel no-one or less than other people issue'. That's why the lies to compensate his small feeling. It will get worse and worse. So it is better to sort it out sooner than later.

    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 2:46 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • yeah well him going to a counselor would be highly unlikely he would probably tell me to get bent if I suggested it, again probably because he does not in his own mind think he lies. The one day he told my son (who had been caught in a lie) that "he does not lie to anyone and does not expect to be lied too"....I seriously had to do a double take and look at him like "SERIOUSLY", but not to undermind his authority in front of the kids I did bite my tongue. But hypocrit that is for sure!!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:50 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • It sounds like you have a lot more problems than you are saying here. I'm sure you don't want to hear this but you should both go to couples counseling before your marriage gets shakier than it seems to already be.
    Robbiesmommy83

    Answer by Robbiesmommy83 at 2:55 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I think you need to start writing the lies down...all of them no matter how small. Put a date and a time next to each one. Once you have a few pages, then sit down and have a talk with him...without the notes. Wait and see how it goes, if he is in full denial mode...then pull out the notebook and let him take a look at it. Men are very visual, reading it will be better than you reciting it to him. He will be angry, but then let him know that you are addressing this because you can't have the children modeling this behavior.

    I agree, it sounds like lying has become a habit for him.

    The last resort would be stepping in and correcting his lies. For instance, you would correct him right to the person he is talking to and remind him that no, actually he was not fishing that day, he was cleaning his car. A few times of that, and he will curb it. Also, it will help show the kids that liars are called out and no point in trying.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 11:12 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Its very sad,but some people tell lies without noticing. Its like a chronic illness. I agree with couples counseling,but hubby needs more help. The only problem is that he has to admit that he has a problem. Good luck to you.
    Dezitwins

    Answer by Dezitwins at 3:22 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • www.truthaboutdeception.com
    This has alot of information you would find very interesting.
    Ihatelaundry

    Answer by Ihatelaundry at 2:13 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

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