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7 Bumps

I have decided to distance myself... Am I a bad friend?

A woman I have known for a year started off seeming "normal". She is a single mom on welfare, Section 8, etc etc. Additionally she claimed she could not work because she had to be home for her bi-polar son when he got off school. She collects SSI for him.
Well she has gone and got an under the table nanny job making $200/week. She is no longer home when her bi-polar son gets off the bus. She is lying to welfare about this income. Her two boys have begun smoking and drinking.

Additionally, she is dating a married man and thinks it's great fun to sleep with him, at his home, while the wife is at work. The poor wife feels as if something is wrong and is working hard to fix the marriage. This doesn't dissuade my "friend" at all. She continues to love & screw the man.

I have had enough! I can't listen to it anymore. I am nauseated and furious. I am married and to think of somebody doing that sickens me.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:06 PM on Jan. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • Not at all! I am in a similiar situation with a friend (although instead of sleeping with a man she complains about absolutly everything) she upset me one too many times and I am on a break! why should we deal with negitivity and things we dont agree with? life is to short to deal with other BS

    Answer by rebeccadac at 3:10 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I agree. And if the two children are under-age and if one of them bi-polar than it would be nice to let the social service for children know about these problems. I don't mean about the guy but about the mum doesn't look after her children. A bi-polar child can hurt himself so easily. I wouldn't wait until this happens. I am sorry your friendship ended like that. Hugs.

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 3:10 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Honestly, I'd do the same thing. I've distanced myself for much less (a friend that was negative all the time).

    Answer by elena_rae at 3:10 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Not in any way. I would never have a friend like that hell no!


    Answer by iluvmykidsxoxo at 3:12 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • No. You are not a bad friend. You just don't want to be friends anymore, or at least to withdraw from someone who behaves that way and doesn't share values in common. It happens. You have to do what is best for you and your own family.

    Answer by misses_nick at 3:13 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I agree, I would do the same thing, I would feel awful if it was happening to me

    Answer by Anzures at 3:13 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I look it this way. The less that I would know about this woman the better I feel physically.

    Answer by musicmom08 at 3:26 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I totally agree with elena rae - I have distanced myself for far less! You need friends to bring light and joy into your life, not crazed soap opera style drama!

    Answer by Whimsee at 4:01 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Not at all if she was a good friend she would know she goes against your beliefs and morals and at the very least wouldn't be telling you about all the things she is doing. She doesn't sound like a very good person and doesn't deserve your friendship.

    Answer by twiggee at 4:01 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Sometimes people choose a path that we can't follow them on. I went through this with a good friend a couple of years ago... she had an affair with the husband of one of her friends. For some reason I was the one she felt the need to share the details with. Her husband found out and forgave her... within a couple of months she started an affair with another man- this time one of her son's sport coaches. Ultimately we grew apart... I didn't want to know the details of her life and that just made it awkward and uncomfortable. I do miss her, but I realize that I miss the person I thought she was more than the person she has chosen to be.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

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