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Controlling envy?

So I have this sil who I totally clash with. She thinks she knows everything about everything including children ( though she has no kids, and due in two weeks). I'm a young mom but work super hard, my husband too. She doesn talk to me much and never invites us anywhere. Super awkward. Seems like her husband is perfect and they never fight, he basically let's her run the show. She an her best friend are due two wks apart with there first baby and both having boys. Everything just sound o right. I'm a Christian and thankful for my life but I my husband and I fight, I'm not always a perfect mom, I yell, make mistakes, ect... My life seems so broken compared to hers. Seems as if the whole family thinks she knows efvrything. I pray and pray not to feel like this but can't shake it. I don't even know why. Please shed some light. I'm truly blessed and grateful for what I have but this feeling seems unshakeable. Thanks.

Sorry for the typos my iPad makes spelling errors. Grrr.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:09 PM on Jan. 21, 2011 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (8)
  • If you try to live your life attempting to keep up with everyone else you will be miserable. Be happy with who you are and what you have.

    Answer by tiddliwinks at 5:10 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I have learned it isnt worth the time and energy to have envy. Everyone fights and argues just because you arent seeing it doesnt mean anything. We all have our struggles and things in life that make our life hard. For all you know maybe she would rather have a husband who helped run the show.

    Answer by gemgem at 5:21 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Maybe she tries extra hard to make it seem like her life is perfect so people won't guess she isn't happy. I have relatives who do something like that... they criticize everyone else's kids (even other family member's ADULT children) so they can act like they never made any mistakes with their own.
    Either way, it does sound like your life is fairly well together, even if not "perfect"... it's human nature to sometimes be less than satisfied, or want to swap places with someone else. When I start wishing I'd done more with my life, I try to imagine what it would be like without my husband, or my son, and it reminds me how wonderful my life already is.

    Answer by Koukla12905 at 5:45 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • The way to control envy is not to compare yourself to others.  Besides their perfection could be an illusion, what goes on in private could be very different from the public face they put on.


    Answer by beeky at 5:48 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I agree with Beeky. And I will admit it ...I did my best parenting BEFORE I had kids too. You have a loving husband and kids. You are blessed. There's no reason to be jealous at all. Believe me she will make mistakes too once the baby gets here.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:01 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • The first thing to remember is that how people feel inside is not always what they display on the outside. I know I have put on the 'everything's just fine' face to the public when things were really, REALLY far from fine. I'm pretty sure that she and her husband fight sometimes, that she will get frustrated and yell at her kid in the future, and so forth. Don't judge by appearances. And I think the second thing is not to compare yourself to others. Think of what you have. Remember that there are people who would probably give their right arm to have what you have right now. Keep perspective. And realize that it's all wasted energy to be envious of her and her life... that's energy you could be spending having fun in your own life!

    Answer by Freela at 8:09 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • stop comparing yourself to an illusion.

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:15 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I encourage you not to compare yourself to others. Christians are notorious for this and it breaks you down. God created each one of us perfect in His eyes. We all have different personalities, walks and perspectives on life and how we handle things. I encourage you to get your eyes off the SIL and put them on Jesus. Ask HIM what He thinks of YOU... not of others :-) You will begin to hear the most beautiful things that will come from His heart on how precious and beautiful and loved you are and that you are a joy and a delight to Him regardless of the imperfects YOU see... He looks at you totally different. :-)

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 9:23 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

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