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Controlling envy?

So I have this sil who I totally clash with. She thinks she knows everything about everything including children ( though she has no kids, and due in two weeks). I'm a young mom but work super hard, my husband too. She doesn talk to me much and never invites us anywhere. Super awkward. Seems like her husband is perfect and they never fight, he basically let's her run the show. She an her best friend are due two wks apart with there first baby and both having boys. Everything just sound o right. I'm a Christian and thankful for my life but I my husband and I fight, I'm not always a perfect mom, I yell, make mistakes, ect... My life seems so broken compared to hers. Seems as if the whole family thinks she knows efvrything. I pray and pray not to feel like this but can't shake it. I don't even know why. Please shed some light. I'm truly blessed and grateful for what I have but this feeling seems unshakeable. Thanks.

Sorry for the typos my iPad makes spelling errors. Grrr.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:10 PM on Jan. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • You never know what really goes on behind closed doors. She may have nothing worth envying. Many times it's just illusion that they are the perfect couple. I think periodic disagreements is far more healthy

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:33 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Have you ever noticed that when you stand on the street and look into people's houses that you can only see through the windows, not the walls?

    What you may assume about what's going on in this Appearance Is Everything women's head, you're only seeing what she actually says. Like, while looking through the windows, you certainly cannot see anything on the same wall as the window... talking to her, you only see what's 'on display'.

    I would assure you, though, that I have never known anyone who is that wrapped up in everyone on the planet seeing them as perfect who is not deeply insecure. In fact, I would say that one of the first symptoms of that kind of deep insecurity is perfectionism and a lack of humility.

    I know women like this who are up doing housework until 4am, or up at 3:30am making cupcakes for some kid's class, they are so overwhelmed with the fear that someone might find out .

    Do you live that? Yay, eh?

    Answer by LindaClement at 5:38 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Looks are very deceiving. You can never really know what is going on with them "behind closed doors", kwim.

    Answer by crazytexan at 9:11 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I have struggled with envy also. Trust me when I say its a wasted emotion. And her life isn't perfect. How can appreciate a sunny day if you have never been through a storm,...?

    Answer by stormyvawn at 12:50 AM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • You don't need to look to her or anyone else for approval. You seem like a good person with your head on straight and you seem to have a normal marriage. What she does or doesn't do in her marriage, what she thinks or doesn't think about you and yours are just stressful issues that you need to let go of. Honestly, unless she has nanny cams at your house and you have some at hers, you don't really know what goes on. My ex and I seemed to get along great, but deep down I hated him.

    Answer by lilangilyn at 7:58 AM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • You said you are a christian so what is the problem remember God is not about having envy of another person he have our life planned out for us don't look at the next family because you think things are going good for them and if it is that's good you should be very happy about that you are a christian and you want people to be happy tell God to change you, you must move away from envy so your life can be better that's what God want for you to be happy also. So please let it go so you and your family can be blessed! trust me God will do it. Dee

    Answer by jewel7575 at 7:33 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

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