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Told my boyfriend I wanted to break up. We have a 2 year old and now I don't know what I should do.

my boyfriend and I aren't in love anymore. We just put up with each other. We act more like roommates than lovers. He is annoyed by me constantly and makes it very clear. I am sick of feeling sad at my own home so I told him last night that I was done with it all and that we weren't the right ones for each other. We have a 2 year old, moved away from all our family and friends 6 months ago, and I am only working part time with my boyfriends friend as our babysitter. I don't know what my next move should be. I can't afford a place of my own since I've been living off of his income. and even if I got a job I don't have day care for my child, and dhs no longer does ERDC. I can't move back home because I want him in our childs life as much as possible. I could never take her away from him but I don't know what else I can do! Suggestions? Anyone gone through this?

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dbodani

Asked by dbodani at 5:22 PM on Jan. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,925 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • maybe u shouldnt have jumped the gun and said that to him -- sounds like you need to plan things out more carefuly for a major change in your life like that.
    mistik75

    Answer by mistik75 at 5:25 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • hey no one should stay in a relationship with someone they aren't in love with. is the option of you 2 still living together but just being roommates there, just til you can afford your own place. if you still care for each other than i don't see why you can't just be roommates for a while
    momofone725

    Answer by momofone725 at 5:28 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Why would I stay in a love less relationship? I have enough respect for him that I wouldn't just use him. I know he will help me out but I don't want him to have to.
    dbodani

    Comment by dbodani (original poster) at 5:29 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Then just be roommates. That worked for me and my ex after our divorce when I couldn't afford to leave. I finally saved up and left but until then I stayed in our home with him
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:31 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • sounds like you guys are better off as friends and friends help each other out....and there are a lot of women who think love in a relationship or a marriage isn't important which i 10000% disagree with. it's important to be madly in love with the person you are with
    momofone725

    Answer by momofone725 at 5:31 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Just because you aren't in love doesn't mean you can't work out a friendship for your child's sake. If both of you together believe that financially and stability, it is best to stay in the current situation, just until you can afford your own place near him for your child, then I see no issue with continuing to live there. It will be tough and frustrating to have to deal with one another, but if he is a smart man, he will realize that this is the only way he will be able to have his daughter in his life everyday. I wouldn't feed off of him for long, but just until you can get a plan together.
    CassiRae3

    Answer by CassiRae3 at 5:32 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • IF you have a child to stay home with than you can get one or two more and be a SAHM and childminder. Some papers to get, some exam and tadam:) So you could have a job and you won't need any childcare facility for your child. Or try to get a job at a nursery there. So they would accept your son half price and you could get a salary. And check out the benefits a single mum can get. There is always a way. Anyway you can start to work now when you are together and get on your feet. And when you are ready to move out than do it. The worst part is that if the guy love the kid it is a big bad thing not to let him live with the kiddo. Sometimes I am wondering how mothers think it is so obvious they can take the children away from the father. I have many broken father friends who would be happy to have their child every single day of the year. Tough question.

    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 5:42 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Do you have friends/family you can stay with until you are back on your feet? Support system of any kind? And I would like to commend you for not taking advantage of him or keeping his kid from him!!! ~*Hugs*~... have respect for women like you!!!
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 7:38 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Yes get a job at a daycare and it will be half price and sleep in the other room until you can do better look at the problem and change you for the problem don't let him get to you just know that you are doing this for your child and when you can get a place move out, think and plan your move be very smart about it and you will see it will work out hang in there. Dee
    jewel7575

    Answer by jewel7575 at 7:21 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

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