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2 Bumps

if the child lives with me and im paying for all the expenses for the child do i have the right to tell the dad he can come see the child at my house but cant leave with the child without my permission?

im a teen mom and me and the father do not get along and i dont trust him leaving with the child without me

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babymama27030

Asked by babymama27030 at 6:46 PM on Jan. 21, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • It's selfish, unless you have real legit reasons why you don't want him to take his own DD/DS. Just because you and the father don't get along, doesn't mean him and his child don't. you gotta think about that babies needs. I was in your shoes when I had my first daughter, I could not stand my BD....I thought it was fair for me to tell him visits would be at my house, and supervised by me, but in the end, all I was trying to do was ''control him'' especially since i'd rather fight with him if that was the only way I could talk to him at all.
    knicole0708

    Answer by knicole0708 at 6:48 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • What "court order" is in place? If none than either parent can legally take the child pending one be in place! It doesn't matter whether he is on the birth certificate or not either... I learned the hard way when a cop laid out the laws to me (when I initially left my eldest son's father)

    If there is no "court Order" neither parent has sole rights... personally, I wouldn't want to chase off a kid's father because I was too busy trying to control them by using the child... or thinking the child is only mine, but that is me
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 6:51 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I think it depends on your court order. If you don't have one, you need to get one. Technically, I don't think you can set said rules.
    charlottej

    Answer by charlottej at 6:52 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Since you posted this under Babies 0-12, Im thinking you have an infant on your hands here. I would go to court and ask the judge for a visitation and custody agreement. So its legal. Otherwise hon, with nothing in writing thats his kid as well as yours and he can come and go as he pleases with baby.
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 6:53 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • If you have good reasons to be afraid of him leaving with the child then just file for custody and set up supervised visits. If your really worried he'd try taking the child it's best you have these things in order. I'm talking from personal experience. You have to do what's in the best interests of the child.
    myree85

    Answer by myree85 at 6:53 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • He has a right to see his child just at you do. As everyone else said, if there is no custody arrangement in place, he's got just as many rights as you do. WHY don't you trust him?
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 6:54 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • If he doesn't have a right to take him anywhere and if he is a little baby i would make sure he's capable before you doet him
    peace013

    Answer by peace013 at 7:04 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Unfortunately No.
    From a legal stand-point....IF he is on the Birth Certificate!
    If he is NOT than yes, you can tell him No...which can be a good thing.
    However, I ask of you what are your real feelings??
    Why do you want your child to grow-up fatherless....always questioning who and where their father is...why he doesn't see him/her??
    Unless he is a true danger to the child and can be proven in a court system....ie; police reports, child protective services or counelors.
    I am telling all of this from not only a personal point of view but from also as someone who had to fight her ex-husband, who was abusive to me and my son.
    I had to PROVE he was a danger, than I had to sit back and watch him take my son every other weekend (court order!) then the abuse started again and I had to prove it. My son was18 m. old.
    I sympathize if this is your situation also.
    Really question where the heart of the matter is for your kid.
    Missikat75

    Answer by Missikat75 at 7:06 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • no you probably do not. I don't think that money has anything to do with it.
    sorry dear, but your days of being able to out a man out of your life just because you don't get along with him are over.
    that's his child too and he has rights.

    if you have a legit reason for not wanting him to take the baby, then you'd probably have to pursue it with the the appropriate people.
    but unless you have a good reason you are probably out of luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:23 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • im not trying to keep the baby from his dad. he wasnt there for me while i was pregnant and hasnt helped me buy anything for this baby. and now that were not together he wants to threaten me with custody. why should i let him take my baby away from me when he had nothing to do with the baby while i was pregnant. i dont trust him alone with the baby until he can get use to being around him. the father gets mad over the stupidist things and has the worst temper ever.
    babymama27030

    Comment by babymama27030 (original poster) at 11:24 AM on Jan. 22, 2011

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