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Would you let your husband take your child out of country?

me and him are having a debate because hes getting out of army and hes going to see his grandparents in germany one last time and he wants to bring our 15 month old baby there for his grandparents to see him .. and he said he will be there for 1 to 2 months .. and he said its all in my head that i dont want the baby to go.. and i dont want to go cuz i dont want to be there too long.. i have school work i want to get done .. hes being kinda mean about it ... is it all in my head that i cant be without my son for more 3 days? id lose my mind without him... also things between my hubby and i are very rough and very close to an end ..

i dont need any mean input on this post, thanks

 
Luckyme3487

Asked by Luckyme3487 at 7:48 PM on Jan. 21, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 14 (1,572 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • NO WAY, if he is in the Army, you are prob the primary care giver. I don't even think it would be good to have him away from you that long. Why don't you go for a short while (a week or two) so the baby can meet the grandparents and then you bring the baby home and your husband can stay for the rest of the time
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 8:03 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Why not go with him for a while and then come back and then go back when he was wanting to come back?

    Part of a good healthy marriage is figuring out how to compromise.
    Why can't you do your school work there? If it an online course, there is no reason why you cannot do it there.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 7:54 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • according to the US embassy, however, Germany is an EXTREMELY good country in regards to parental abduction from the US. however, if you cannot afford to leave work and school now, could you really afford to retain a lawyer, fly back/forth a dozen times, stay in a hotel for who knows how long, etc? Plus at 15m. you'd be a stranger upon the return. can you take off like a week and go with? 10 day visit is better than no visit. however if things are as tense/bad as you say it may not be a good idea at all. good luck to you, what a horrible decision to be stuck in.

    http://travel.state.gov/abduction/country/country_491.html

    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 7:55 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I would never be away from my daughter for more than a night. I would never let her travel to another country without me because I can't guarantee her safety without me there seeing it and if something happened I would never forgive myself. I agree about the lifetime movie thing. I say compromise and agree to come for a week with the baby but that you don't want to be away from the baby that long and do not agree to it. I'm sorry about your situation with the hubby =(


    hugs

    gottalovemal

    Answer by gottalovemal at 7:56 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I would not be able to do it.
    zebbiebug

    Answer by zebbiebug at 7:59 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I guess I am the only that trust my husband. I would miss my son and yes I would try to go. But in the end, I have no problem with my husband taking our son. I trust him and I know he would protect him no matter what.
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 8:04 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • nooooo. too many bad lifetime movies about the subject. no no never ever.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 7:50 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • No I couldn't let my child go for that long. Would he be willing to fly you and the baby over there for a week or something?
    aheuszel

    Answer by aheuszel at 7:53 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • No....besides your own reasoning (that's a long time to be away from your baby). What if something were to happen to him or who knows. NO WAY!! Tell him that you will set up SKYPE and they can meet the baby via webcam. That's a long trip for a little baby anyway and it would be tough for the little guy to be away from you that long. ABSOLUTELY NOT! My in-laws kept saying they wanted to take my daughter with them to Panama for 1 month.....When hell freezes over!! I love them, but I won't take any chances. What if something like 911 were to happen and he couldn't fly back when he planned. Too many things can go wrong.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 7:55 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Only you know your husband, if you feel as though you can't trust him to bring your son back then the marriage would appear to be over, cause that's huge. If you're just worried about missing the baby, can't you go for some of the time, maybe a week or two and then come home and let hubby bring baby back later? I went to germany for 12 weeks when my son was 2, he stayed with my mom. It was hard, and I missed him, but it did nothing to our relationship except bring us closer, and he had a blast at grandmas while I was doing school things in Germany. Isn't there a way you can do schoolwork online and be out of the country for any length of time? I would see it as a great adventure for your son and his dad, and I'd let him go. Unless I had doubts about the father bringing him back, and then I'd be evaluating my marriage situation not an out of the country trip. Either way do what you think is best, but know you will survive :)
    ba13ygrl1987

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 7:55 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

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