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2.5 yo sharing

I have a friend with 3 kids a 7yo, a 5yo and a 2.5yo all girls. I have a 2.5 yo dd and when she brings her kids over, I expect my DD to share her toys, which she does very well. The 7 and 5 yo are not a problem whatsoever. But the 2.5 yo does not share at all, she will snatch toys from my daughter and play with it, once my dd moves to a different one, she will snatch that one too, and the next, and the next and the next. My daughter just kind of stands there and looks at me and the other mom and she will not take the toy back. Since, the mom wont tell her to share, I started telling her that she has to share and cant snatch toys away from my daugher, my friend doesnt seem to mind when I say something, but Ive tried telling her that she needs to say something to her dd. She just wont. My problem is, it seems like my dd gets her feeling hurt. I always taught her to share, but she just cant stand up for her self. I always do and my friend does nothing, she just says "shell learn to share eventually" but she doesnt at all. It breaks my heart when my dd gets that look on her face, she looks like she is heartbroken, but just moves on. im afraid my dd will let people take advantage of her later in life. what do you think.

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Asked by leksismommy at 10:18 PM on Jan. 21, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 25 (22,485 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • I think that you are taking on a worry that is not yours.

    not that I'm one that is a good example of that myself.

    sounds like you need to tell your friend what you find acceptable, and what you don't. Sounds like you have a difference of opinion on the matter.
    if you don't want that kind of behavior around your daughter, then I think you shouldn't let the kids play together anymore.

    Personally, I found it surprising to hear that your daughter shares as well as she does. she's young.
    but it's up to you if you want that kind of behavior around your kids.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 10:29 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Sharing is not a concept fully grasped by children until 5-6 years of age. It gets better as they get older, but the actual full understanding of what the word sharing means does not happen at 2. Your daughter is more tolerant of other children playing with her toys because its part of her temperament, which she got/learn from you. Your friends daughter just sees a toy she likes and has no concept she's hurting anyone's feelings and at 2.5 she's not doing anything wrong. She has a different temperament then your daughter. If it really bothers you then say to your friend I need you to correct your daughter when she takes my daughters toys. Walking up to a child and saying, gently, "no susy, jonny wasn't finished, here, you have this toy" is developmentally appropriate. Making 2 year olds share on their own is not.

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 11:45 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • She is a bit young to share, grabbing from others is normal. Normal however isn't always acceptable. If your friend isn't following the rules of your home, then I suggest you not have her over anymore. You could also start correcting the child and putting them in time out when she is not doing as asked "giving the toy back to your child". If your friend has a probelm with your putting her child in TO then remind her that you asked her to take care of it and she is not.

    Also, when your DD gets older you will be able to work with her on dealing with this herself. For now, just let her now she needs to ask for it back, and if she doesn't get it back she can come get you.

    Answer by mom2queenie2004 at 7:05 AM on Jan. 22, 2011

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