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She still isn't getting it, what should I do?

My four year old is still not understanding that she has to go to sleep every night like all the rest of the kids int he world. Every single night, she puts up a lot of screaming, hollering, tantrum, and much more because she has to go to sleep. I don't understand because this is something that she has to do and have been doing every night all her life. At some point I figure she would at least be used to the idea of going to sleep every night like it has been for years. It's been hard trying to get her to go to bed at a designated time that I have set because she just doesn't want to go to bed. Any suggestions, please help?

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Asked by Cherish809 at 11:16 PM on Jan. 21, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 4 (49 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Do you have a bedtime routine? That may help. It may take a little time for her to adjust but if your consistent and keep it the same it may work.

    Answer by MrsMWF at 11:18 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I agree, she needs a routine. Also, no budging, no matter what. When you put her in her bed at night, let her know that is where she is to stay and once she is in her bed, it's quiet time. Ignore her fit throwing and screaming. What she wants is your attention and by going in and talking to her, yelling at her, whatever, she is delaying her bed time and getting your attention. Good luck, it is not easy getting kids into a routine, but once you do, you and your house will be much much happier

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 11:26 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Does she still take naps during the day? If so, I would try cutting out the day time nap. Alot of children (my 4 year old included) just doesn't need a day time nap anymore.

    Answer by JeanetteRene at 11:27 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • make a fun routine.. my daughter is 3 and we started makinga routine fun she plays til dinner. than we have mommy and her time.. then its time to brush her teeth and race to the bathroom. who can get pjs on first then she reads me a story in her bed and goes to sleep at 8 every night..

    ps a nightlight may work too.
    good luck

    Answer by kyiahsmommy at 11:31 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • We kind of had the same problem w/our DD. I work until 11pm and by the time I get home she is still up. She just wants to wait up till I get home. We have noticed that now that she is in preschool, and has to get up early, that she is finally going to bed much much earlier. On her nights when she does not have school the next day, if we read her favorite books over and over then finally by the 3rd reading she is done for the night. Don't know if she is just bored hearing the same story over or over or what, but it works.

    Answer by teafan at 11:31 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I agree with some of the things said. I think if you have a routine at a specific time. Let her know an hour in advance, 15 min, 5 min, 1 min yadda yadda so she knows that it is coming. Put her in bed and let her throw a fit if she wants to. I think if you don't interact with her after a few nights she may get it that you aren't going to let her stay up or interact with her while she is freaking out and that she should just go to bed. Also tell her why it is important to sleep. That she needs to be ready for a big day tomorrow and that her body needs rest and she grows while she is sleeping. Good luck. budging.

    Answer by dbodani at 11:54 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • My dd was like that. I let her sleep with me til she was almost 4. When I changed her to her own bed she would throw massive fits & actually vomit. It was really bad. Nothing worked. So finally I'd just put her in with me & read to her til she went to sleep. Then moved her to her bed. After a while she started going to her own bed at bed time. GL

    Answer by amy197 at 2:26 AM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • Wow I am so with you my 4yr old daughter ahtes going to bed on time and she never use to be that way until I lived with a gf for short while because she let her daughter get away with it and doing a number of things..hang in there-what is working with me is letting her play all day outside and inside and by bedtime she has tuckered herself out doesnt always works and my pediatrician says its normal she will eventually calm down

    Answer by heartsicksiren at 2:32 AM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • We finally had enough of the tantrums and spent about 4 nights sitting in the boys room and moved further out every night until we were outside the door. We just sat on the floor until they fell asleep every night. When the boys would get out of their beds we just put them back into their bed without talking to them unless they needed to use the bathroom and told us that. It worked and they only have problems once in a while now but they stay in their room and in their beds for the most part. My husband saw that on the supernanny tv show and wanted to give it a try.

    Answer by tyandlukesmom at 4:46 AM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • Routine. I would also see if maybe the time she is getting put to bed may be too early or too late. I would also give her a little more cotrol over her own bedtime. Give her 2 choices about everything. Do you want to wear last nights PJ's or a new pair? Do you want me to brush your teeth first or do you want to brush them first? Should I tuck you in or should Daddy? Do you want to get into bed before our stories or after our stories. Each options has 2 choices that you as the parent are ok with. You still get what you want and need as a parent, but the child feels like she has so much control over what is going on it tends to take away the power struggle.

    Answer by mom2queenie2004 at 7:00 AM on Jan. 22, 2011

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