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3 Bumps

My daughter is TOO Attached to me!

My first daughter was raised by my husband until she was almost one and she has not seperation anxiety or attachment issues but i stayed home after having Mia and yes ill admit i might have held her alot at first but now it is out of control.!.
No matter where we are she has to be on me and i dont mean that as a figure of speach i mean it literally. She will crawl around and explore than return to me and play with what she got.
I know what your going to say... dont pick her up, but i have been doing that and all she does is SHRIEK like she is being killed for a LONG time and then shell forget for 10 mins and remember and the cycle will begin all over again ... after a while i cant take it and have to pick her up (only after an hour of constant screaming).
she is too old now so what do i do? (she is one)

Answer Question
 
motherof3tome

Asked by motherof3tome at 1:09 PM on Jan. 22, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 4 (54 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Um no, I wasn't going to say DONT pick her up.  Love on her.  Enjoy this time.  I know it gets frustrating but you only get this small amount of time before they go off exploring and don't need you anymore.  Relax and roll with it before long, it's over.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 1:12 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • Oh and I didn't read that part about her being 1.  I have a 1 year old.  I have found that if I take time out constantly thru the day to just sit and play with her and hold her she doesn't seem so needy throughout the rest of the day.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 1:13 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • I agree.....she isn't too old, she's still a baby and should be held. But if you want her to also learn how to play without mommy, start taking short trips to the store and leave her at home with daddy or grandma.....and when you return shower her with affection. Then start making slightly longer trips out for errands so she can learn that YES it's okay to love and cuddle and be with mommy, but that she can be ok, have fun and play without mommy too.
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 1:14 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • I understand your pain. My DD is 15 months now but she used to be so attached to me, she literally screamed when I put her on the super market stroller. I couldn't go shopping or anywhere. My husband cooked cause I couldn't go from the living room to the kitchen. All you have to do is patience and you HAVE to stick it out through her shrieking. She has a pattern now: I shriek, mommy eventually picks me up. It's action and reaction, she knows this will be the result so she does it. You have to stick it out. When she starts being like that, go to her and very calmly pat her, make her feel safe, talk to her in a calm, soothing voice, tell her mommy is here, mommy is not going ANYWHERE. Even if she shrieks or moves around or kicks, you keep your tone of voice low and calming, with calming words and movements. Do this every time she reacts like this. She will realize that mommy is indeed not going anywhere.
    Marianne140

    Answer by Marianne140 at 1:15 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • Patience keyword. DD is still very attached to me but slowly she is becoming independent I think its just a phase they grow out of! Best of luck hun!!!
    jdbrown21

    Answer by jdbrown21 at 1:42 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • You and your daughter are well bonded. This is a wonderful thing, not a bad thing!! Yes, you should pick her up. You spoil a child by buying them whatever they want and not teaching them responsibility. You do not spoil a child with unconditional love or by meeting their needs. Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves is a wonderful parenting book www.naomialdort.com Use a sling or other carrier, and enjoy your little one!

    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:19 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • She weighs 22 pounds and i also have a two year old. I definetly cant sling her. I just feel as though it is REALLY EXAGERATED to the point where her exploration is lessened and shes getting a little too old i fear. I dont want to have a 4 year old who always wants to sit on mommies lap.
    motherof3tome

    Comment by motherof3tome (original poster) at 5:29 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

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