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5 Bumps

what's the best way to release anger?

i can get so mad at my bf i just want to strike but i know i would regret it so i dont hit him but i just walk away.but then he grabs me as if hes saying "dont go anywhere we are talking". i feel so full of rage that i feel like i could sock him in the face. if i cant get away and i want to explode what do i do? i excersize daily to relieve stress but its still there by the end of the day. we both hate arguing but sometimes it does happen. i tell him how im feeling and say u better leave because i dont want to hurt u or break something but he doesnt listen. i hate that im angry and i want it to go away. i never used to be this way and i dont find it attractive so i want to change but dont know how. excersize more? breathe? use my words instead of yell? i feel like ive tried it all but its not working. i do smoke herb and thats the only thing that helps but i dont like to resort to that so what should i resort to when im mad?

Answer Question
 
Liz4Life

Asked by Liz4Life at 2:03 PM on Jan. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,309 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I used to do the same thing. I would walk away because I knew I was goin gto do something I would regret and he would try to make me stay in the room with him and finish the arguement. We went to counseling and the counselor told him to give me my own time outs if I promise to come back and finish the fight after I was cooled down. It also helps to write your feelings down.
    usdragonflies

    Answer by usdragonflies at 2:05 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • Maybe go to the doctor to get tested for anxiety?
    usdragonflies

    Answer by usdragonflies at 2:06 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • You need to explain to him when you are not fighting that when you get angry you need to walk away. Tell him you are not walking away from him, but from a fight you cannot rationally have until you calm down. But like I said, have this conversation when you are getting along. I had to explain that to my DH. I took some practice, but now things never get out of hand because he lets me cool down so we can talk rationally. We argue, but we don't yell, and when we do it's to serve a purpose and make things better. I don't think I could do that well in the heat of the moment.
    mandaday

    Answer by mandaday at 2:12 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • ok i agree. thank u. i will say please let me cool down before we can go further. ive been to the doctor and i do have anxiety. the only thing that works is klonopin but my doc will not prescribe it to me. he prescribes me everything else but i just dont want it. i suppose i should be more proactive in my search for the right drug. my mom is bipolar so im against drugs entirely but if i need it i need it. i just want to cure my anxiety without medication. i rather take a holistic approach. if anyone has any other suggestions it is much appreciated.
    Liz4Life

    Comment by Liz4Life (original poster) at 2:24 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • So far as basic anger management goes I have several techniques. Sometimes a hot bath, a glass of wine, and a good book works. Sometimes a really funny movie and a pint of Ben and Jerry's helps because laughing makes it hard to be angry, and the combined endorphins of chocolate and laughter are awesome. And when there is too much pent up aggression to ignore, I put on fast paced music and dance myself into exhaustion. But those are just the things that work for me.
    mandaday

    Answer by mandaday at 2:30 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • Counselling. Find a good counsellor and tell him or her everything and let them cure you. You keeps everything inside you. Exercise is really good for the body but it doesn't solve the problem if your mind is going on and on. There is something in your life you are not really happy about and you feel caged. So probably it is time to talk to an outsider who is enough professional to help you. Most of the anxiety could be cured without drogs if people would go to counsellors. I hope you will find a good one:) Hugs. And I agree all of the mommies talking before me:)

    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 2:33 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • ok counseling, chocolate, hot baths, wine, reading and comedy.
    i pretty much practice all of that religiously except the counseling...
    i think ill try it gracias!
    Liz4Life

    Comment by Liz4Life (original poster) at 3:02 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • EFT has worked for me. Emotional Freedom Technique -- tapping. If you can afford it, go to a practitioner, but if not there may be online resources.
    Whimsee

    Answer by Whimsee at 4:03 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • Spend about an hour at the shooting range. It's a great stress reliever!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 4:35 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • I usually go running.
    Syphon

    Answer by Syphon at 4:43 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

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