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WHAT would YOU do?

ok so recentlymy oldest has been having issues with this deploy. we already told her daddy was coming home AFTER her birthday to try and give her a timeline she could understand. well yesturday she broke down and started bawling her eyes out and begging daddy to come home for her birthday..i asked ALOT of people what they would do via FB and they ALL said to not celebrate her birthday on her birthday since she doesnt know any better and to celebrate it when he gets home and "pretend" like its her birthday...
good idea? or bad idea?
we already have my june bugs birthday to celebrate in june and daddys due home in may so we would be having two parties back to back. not to mention daddys coming home party...
child is turning 5 btw... actual birthday is in march.

 
sandraberke

Asked by sandraberke at 2:38 PM on Jan. 22, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 17 (4,168 Credits)
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Answers (8)
  • I'd say to her she's a very lucky little girl and since turning 5 is soooooo special (it's a whole hand!!!) she gets to have 2 parties. 1 before daddy's home and then daddy will take on on a very special date night when he returns.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 2:40 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • A five yo shouldn't be lied to about her birthday. Keep explaining to her when her daddy will be coming home. Poor baby, it's so hard when their daddies are deployed.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 2:40 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • in that situation, i'd wait until it comes around to decide. she'll be 5, maybe she'll settle for a phone call or webcam if it's possible? if you have to, just do a little one with close friends of hers, or just you guys. her favorite dinner, small cake, and a present from you. if you wait until daddy comes home, do it during the welcome home party. your dh will understand. just have a cake for her, couple of presents. she won't realize the party isn't all "officially" for her. she'll just be happy daddy is there. GL
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 2:43 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • My son's b-day is in december, but it always snows to much to have a fun b-day so we do it in july instead. His dads bday is around that time so he gets to share with daddy, plus he thinks the fireworks are for him. I don't see anything wrong with moving her b-day.
    usdragonflies

    Answer by usdragonflies at 2:40 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • that doesnt help because at 5 she is in school and school is going to celebrate her birthday on her birthday so she will already know its her birthday. just comfort her and tell her when her daddy is comming home and show her on the calendar and mark it. let her mark down the days til daddy gets home too.
    laura970

    Answer by laura970 at 2:41 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • oh my word i love the two party idea! i can have her regular b day party without daddy and have a another b day / homecoming party !
    shes not in school yet so dont have that problem with the school celebrating it but it just seems WRONG to me NOT to celebrate it on the DAY she was born! and 5 is such a BIG deal cause she knows she can go to school in aug!
    sandraberke

    Comment by sandraberke (original poster) at 2:46 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • Buy a calendar and mark what month he is suppose to be home. Do not mark a day, because they never come home the day they say. My DH was in Iraq, I know. Let her keep track of when he comes home like that.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:16 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • we have a deployment DOM with a round about time and i show her it once a week and show her once the circle is purple daddy will be coming home/home...this helps a bit
    sandraberke

    Comment by sandraberke (original poster) at 3:18 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

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