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If you knew that you were going to die, when would you tell your kids?

This is a hypothetical question. My 15 year old watched a tearjerker movie in which the father has terminal cancer and doesn't tell his kids until he's almost dead from cancer that he'd known about for a while.
After she dried her eye's she wanted me to promise her that if anything like that was happening to me or her dad, that we would let her know. I told her no, that I couldn't make that promise to her because I don't know if I'd want her wasting time worrying about stuff she has no control over.
What would you do?

 
Lornamay

Asked by Lornamay at 4:00 PM on Jan. 22, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 18 (5,265 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • This is a question that is very close to me and my family. Three years ago I went in for a day surgery on my left knee. I was overdosed and put on life support. The hospital advised I be placed in a nursing home. I have brain injury it's called anoxic brain trama. The non fancy meaning is I did not get enough oxygen to my brain. I no longer work, I need PCP care 5 days a week. I did not die but I still am not living. The people in my life struggle with this new different me. I have seizures and short term memory loss. I see how my brain injury affects the people whom love me and I am grateful I am still here.
    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 3:45 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I would feel the need to tell them as long as they were old enough to comprehend. I would say over the age of 9 or 10. I would do so with the help of a counselor. I don;t think either way of handling it is better than the other I just don ' t think I could hide it.
    fourisplenty

    Answer by fourisplenty at 4:10 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • I would tell them so we all knew how important it was to make every minute count having fun and doing things we love to do as a family.
    aheuszel

    Answer by aheuszel at 4:20 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • I'd tell him. I want to always try to be honest and I know that if one of my parents were dying, I'd want to know. I'd want to try to prepare him as much as possible for my passing, if that's even possible.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 8:15 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • I probably wouldnt tell mine either. I would want their life to go on as it was without worrying or stressing out about me. I might tell my 22 yr old as the time came closer so she knew and would be able to help carry out my wishes and also help care for her younger two siblings.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 4:21 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • No sense in adding to the stress of a child. Of course, I'd do all in my power to "bond" with them, so they had lots of happy memories, but I can't see that telling a child would be of benefit to anyone.
    GoodyBrook

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 4:25 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • I wouldn't. I don't want them thinking "Well is mommy going to die today" "will this activity make mommy die"
    I would just live life to the fullest.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:43 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • Honestly, I'm not that good of an actress- & I think counseling could help them cope & prepare. And then like the other moms said, you make the best of it & make a lot of memories, & leave taped & written journals too. (PS- This is why I like to watch comedies- what a horrible thing to have to think about)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 4:53 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • My boys are 24 & 20 so in my situation with them being older I would. I need someone to help me complete my bucket list, lol I think it would hurt not knowing something so important.
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 7:47 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • i would want to know, so i would tell my kids. We would go to counceling and pray about it together and make the most of life.
    sarlove01

    Answer by sarlove01 at 1:43 AM on Jan. 23, 2011