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Is it normal for a 14 year old popular girl to suddenly have problems with friends?

I have a 14 year old daughter who started 9th grade (high school) this year. She's a really good kid, honor student, pretty and popular. She has a group of friends she's had since middle school but suddenly a few of them have been very mean to her for no apparent reason. Her best friend even screwed her over on her birthday. This has been really hard on her and it's hard to watch her go through it. She has other friends, lots of them but she's heart broken over this situation.

Is this normal or typical for this age?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:03 PM on Nov. 13, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • My sister is fourteen and she goes through this everyday. One day a girl made fun of the shoes she was wearing and those shoes cost more than the little girl saying its whole outfit. Come to find out my sister was talking to the guy she likes. She has another friend that is like family and recently she has been ditching my sister all the time. I asked her and she said because she wants to hang out with her boyfriend more and doesn't now how to tell my sister. Maybe her friend got jealous of your daughter, like she gets to much attention for the boy she likes, or another friend asked her to do something that sounded like more fun then what your daughter was doing. I hate to say this but girls are really mean to each other.

    Answer by CMead02 at 9:42 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • I wouldn't worry kids are fighting one week and friends the next!! they will get over it !!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • It's totally normal. Middle school and high school are two totally different environments. A lot of people learn who their true friends are when they're freshmen. People join different groups and different cliques, it's only natural for kids to explore different avenues. I actually lost a lot of friends in high school...and I don't regret it. She'll find better friends, just be there to support her and let her know that high school isn't forever (even though she thinks it is) =]

    Answer by caitxrawks at 9:44 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • i think other girls all of a sudden get jealous especially when guys they like like your daughter over them. i would contact her friends parents and see if they know why the girls are feeling this way towards her.

    Answer by melody77 at 9:52 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • Maybe something happened with a boy or perhaps the other girls got in trouble for something, probably small, and your daughter didn't cover for them? Talk to her and see if she knows what may be happening, and then contact the other parents. Odds are within a week or two all will be resolved.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 10:17 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • Well when girls get into high school they change for some reason not really sure why. Maybe they found new friends that are not really good friends at all. So i would tell her not to worry about it that it will be ok. But now she knows who her true friends are.

    Answer by Trinismom2008 at 11:17 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • There isn't really rhyme or reason for it - its high school and its all drama. I think it is important for kids to have activities and friends outside of school (karate, dance, club sports, ect...) so that they know there is a world outside of high school. At this age its a hard sell to tell them that this will pass. Teens tend to base their self esteem and how they perceive themselves off of how others in their school view them. They need to know there is big world out there besides their small little corner of the universe (and school is the center of this universe). You don't need to fix this for her. We can't solve all our children's problems. You can listen and be supportive. Oh and make her favorite comfort foods for when she has had a really bad day. High school can be filled with a lot of heart ache. Just wait until she starts dating.

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:58 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • I have a 13 and a 16 year old. they both go through ups and downs with friends. We just need to teach our kids (young adults) how to handle the siuation. All teens go through this. They move up in grades , meet new friends and find new intrests. The opposite sex comes into the picture at that time

    Answer by lilmama1971 at 12:29 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Thanks for everyone's input. It made me feel much better. I do think there is allot of jealousy in this situation because we are more affluent than her best friend and some of her other friends. The other issue is boys. The other girls want to be with the boys and my daughter just isn't at that point. She's more into her grades, activities, being successful.

    I just think they came to a fork in the road and are going two different directions. This is a lesson my daughter will have to learn because this kind of crap never really stops. Women can be a pain in the butt.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 AM on Nov. 14, 2008