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Getting 50/50 with a child just to be able to get more public assistance

My ex got married about 4 years ago. She already had 3 children and they now have 2 more together and she is pregnant again. Then there is my 3 year old dd who only once or twice a month. We don't have anything set up. Now he is telling me that he wants to go for 50/50 visitation. I asked why and he said that 1. he found out that if he does that he will get child support from me and my husband because we make a lot more and 2 because if he has her half the time, they can add her on to get more food stamps and cash assistance and wic. These people are the poster children for low-life trash. NOW before you bash me, I have no problem with people on public assitance, and I dont' think that everyone on PA is low life trash. I know many people use it while they better themselves and then get off of it. My ex works 3 days a week (about 24 hours) and his wife stays at home. They live in a 3 bedroom trailer in a bad area. They don't have money for food (they get all their food from food stamps, wic and their school aged children getting free lunch and breakfast) but they both smoke constantly. I am in the process of getting full custody, since they aready have 5 children living in 2 bedrooms, there really isn't even room for my dd in their house. These people are just having children to get more PA and they want to add my dd on to this??? Does anyone else think this is crazy??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Jan. 22, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (15)

    Fight it! That is really insane, I can't imagine that they will be able to get 50/50 custody. Make sure you tell the judge their reasons for asking for the new custody arrangements. It would be even better if you could record his reasons.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 9:22 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • I don't think it's's INSANE! Not to mention it's totally sad that he's willing to compromise your childs' quality of life just to get more foodstamps!
    Did he actually tell you that? I would definitely tell that little bit to my lawyer...
    I doubt he'd get any kind of custody besides visitation, just for the fact that like you said, he has 5 kids in a two bedroom place and he only works 24 hours a week....that's barely enough to get by...golly!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • that right there is truely welfare mentality. I would fight it, it's not healthy for your child, and that would be the beginning of my argument. Get a good lawyer.

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 9:29 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • TBH, I don't see a judge even giving him overnight visits. He has 5 children living in 2 bedrooms then him and his wife in the other. She is pregnant again so they don't even have room for the children they have

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:39 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • I just want to say good luck, and hopefully no judge is stupid enough to even entertain him ....

    If he told you that stuff, then you should try to tell you that again, with having someone there to hear it, or if you can record it or if you guys can text, you get it wrote in a text message ( or even on facebook ) .... just in case this really goes to court

    Answer by 2lilbumblebees at 9:57 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • Oh... I agree. Have him send it in a email, or on facebbook. Then you have written proof.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 10:02 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • Can I ask you something? Your ex got married four years ago, but your daughter is three? Is there anymore to the
    story before I weigh in?

    Answer by lovinangels at 11:30 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • PP, im sure her daughter is on the older side of three and they split before she was born? that would make sence.
    OP: There is no way he will get custody, try to get him to confess his motives on front of a nuetral third party... or just get pics of where he lives, make a list of all the reasons she shouldnt be there and take proactive measures before he has a chance.

    Answer by sarlove01 at 1:41 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I would fight it. I don't think the living conditions are not in your DD best interest. I would be very nice to your ex, but tell him to take you to court because you aren't okay with this and he can fight it if he wants.  I would definitely talk to a lawyer about getting full custody.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 6:23 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Wow. I can't imagine him getting anymore visitation than he is already getting. What a jerk - using your child for money??? If this ever gets in front of a judge, it will be really easy for you to prove that it's not his daughter he wants to see more, it's the financial benefits. Good thing he's an ex, huh?

    Answer by Scuba at 9:43 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

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