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sleeping problem...please help!

My son is 17 months old and has been co sleeping with me since he was borm. It all started when I went back to work and I was nursing, it was just easier to have him in bed and we all got sleep this way. It did not seem to be a problem with my husband but recently he has expressed that he would like to have our bed back. My son still need me to comfort him back to sleep, even in my bed he still wake frequently in the night and needs to touch or feel that I am still next to him. We have tried letting him sleep in a toddler bed in our room but that did not work eithet! The main problem is that I can not do the cry it out method....it kills me to hear him screaming for me. He is able to climb out of his crib now, so we converted his crib into a toddler bed and put up a gate in his doorway so he can not roam the house at night. I have been sleeping on an air mattress on the floor of his room trying to get him used to being in his room at night and lettimng him know it is a safe place to be. But he still wakes up and scream until I pick him up. He can fall asleep in seconds after I pick him up even if he had been screamong for 5 minutes, it is crazy! I have created a monster ..LOL!! He is not getting enough sleep at night in my opinion and it is effecting his personality some days!

I would love to hear any advise on how to get him to sleep in his own room and be able to put himself back to sleep without needing me. I know this is going to be a long process, but everything I have tried has yet to work, so any advise would be wonderful! Thanks in advance, we would like to have another babay soon, but can not imagine getting up at night with 2 kids!

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Mom2Brock

Asked by Mom2Brock at 11:24 PM on Jan. 22, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 9 (285 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • honestly just put him in his bed, leave his room, and just let him cry it out. Put on some music to drown him out. Or use earplugs. After a while, he'll figure it out.
    febmom007

    Answer by febmom007 at 11:28 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • A human who doesn't need mom in the night (or any other time) when he needs something is usually called an adult.

    There are lots of tips and techniques you will get, and can read, and Supernanny will tell you all about, in avoiding or evading meeting his needs in the night, from ignoring his screams for help to teaching him that there is no one who cares about him and no one will ever come to help, in an effort to give up and stop making any noise no matter what kind of help he needs.

    If you're okay with that, try whatever you think sounds good.

    Otherwise, you may like to notice that what he's screaming for is reassurance that he's safe and you still exist. It would be fun to be able to do that by remote control, but it's not possible. It's one of the reasons why lots of people continue co-sleeping long after their kids wean: everyone gets more sleep that way.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:29 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • Ok, you need to first realize that he is crying to get his way and you give in.

    This is what I did. I took a rocker and put it in the room by the bed. Turned out the light and used a book light to read a book until she fell asleep. After 3 nights, I moved the rocker closer to the door. 3 nights later, closer still...
    After 2 weeks, I put her to bed and walked out of the room. She would cry, I let her for 5 minutes and then went to check on her. Then I left and let her cry for 10 minutes, then 15 and so on.
    It all comes down to them realizing that while they can cry, they will not get their way and you realizing that them crying isn't a result of pain but frustration that they aren't getting their way.
    This whole process was over in 3 weeks and I could take her in and put her to bed and not hear a peep until morning.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:30 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • I don't blame you for not doing the "cry it out" thing. The only thing I know to suggest is the way I did it. I laid next to him until he fell asleep--which would usually only take about 5 or 10 minutes. When he woke up in the night, I'd pat his back and whisper, "Shhhh...mama's here", and he would go right back to sleep.
    popzaroo

    Answer by popzaroo at 11:33 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • I feel like jut letting him cry is not the right thing for us. It works for some peopel but I do not want him to feel alone or that I dont care. I think that maybe just sitting by his bed is the best thing to try. The problem is that he can get out of his bed now since I have him in the toddle bed. I just dont feel that it is safe to put him in the crib when he can climb out during the safe and possibly hurt himself!
    Mom2Brock

    Comment by Mom2Brock (original poster) at 11:43 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • My son was the same way-- he would wake frequently through the night. Getting him to sleep in his crib wasn't the problem-- it was the comforting him back to sleep when he woke up that was the hardest.

    I sleep trained him over a period of 5 days. I didn't actually sleep next to him, but I did lay there until he fell asleep. When he woke up in the middle of the night, I waited about 5 minutes before going in. To my amazement-- he went back to sleep 9 times out ot 10 without needing anything from me!!

    Having him sleep next to me, it was my gut reaction to get him quiet again. But it was actually bad for him-- I was actually waking him up by responding so quickly. When he was in the crib, he would normally wake up, then cry for a bit, change positions, then go back to sleep. It all happened usually within a minute.

    good luck!
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 11:45 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • Busimommi--- I do respond very quickly to his cries probably because I am right there and want him to quit so I can return to sleep. It always seems like 5 minutes is and hour!
    Mom2Brock

    Comment by Mom2Brock (original poster) at 11:50 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • You will get very mixed responses regarding the cry-it-out method, and you may want to read the material yourself and make the best decision.

    I did NOT want to let my son cry it out, but at my wit's end, I found that it was the only thing and the best thing for him. The more I responded to him, the more he would wake in the night until none of us were getting to sleep. I often tried sitting by his bed, but my presence was stimulating to him and he would cry MORE with me there than if I left. Between traveling and sickness breaking up our routine, we had to go through this several times, and each time I erred on the side of mercy, wanting to be sure he was reassured. Each time I would get to a point where I was convinced he was playing me for all I was worth, and we had to go back to letting him cry. It was usually brief and after one or two crying episodes, he slept like an angel (and so would DH and I!!!). (cont)
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 12:03 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • We did try co-sleeping, but our bed was just too small and there was NO way I was going to kick DH out, as someone suggested. With my son next to me, I could never really sleep well.

    I could tell if my son cried a lonely or frightened cry (which was rare), and that brought me running fast. But most of the time, even when he was very tiny, it was a "I do NOT want to go to sleep right now!" cry, and the more tired he was, the more angry he was to be put to bed.

    This is a hard time, especially if you are working during the day, but don't give up. Unity with your husband is VITAL to providing a secure environment to your baby, and if that means having your bed to yourselves, I think that's extremely important!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 12:08 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Oh, and when I did let him CIO, I would always start by responding after I heard him cry for a few minutes. I would talk to him gently, touch him, reassure him, tell him it was time to sleep now. Then I would leave. That's when he would go from lonely to mad, but I was confident that he knew I was there if he NEEDED me.
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 12:10 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

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