Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Cheating, emotional or physical.?

Brief:
I'm a mother of one. I had her when I was 15 years old. Me and her father just recently got back together. PROBLEM is... He's thousands of miles away. & communication is super limited. Like maybe once a day on weekdays if i'm lucky. & rarely on weekends. We were apart for 15 months and have only been back together for.. oh about a month.. We are really trying to make things work and we know we care about each other... But for him being so far away from our daughter and me when he stays busy so does his mind.. On the other end i'm a stay at home mom and a full time student. so at night when i have nothin to do.. Who comes to mind. HIM.

Question:
Since we're so far away, and there is basically no communication... Is it emotional cheating if I find comfort with someone else, now wait not physical comfort.. but more emoitonal and security wise.? I'm a tiny girl. An average sized male can throw me around like a rage doll. So is it wrong to have a male around who will protect me and my daughter in this crazy city we live in... And when i need someone to talk to he's there and he's there to keep my mind busy from my bf/baby daddy? Or is this cheating?


I hope this came out the way it is in my mind. :l

Answer Question
 
casicielo

Asked by casicielo at 6:12 AM on Jan. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (61 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • It all depends on what your intentions are and what exactly you do with this other male. Is the other male aware of everything.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 6:17 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Kind of... He prefers not to acknowledge it. Because he doesn't like my daugthers father at ALL. Because there was an accusation from my baby daddys ex that he beat the s**t out of her and evidence. I try to tell the male it's not true but he doesn't believe me.
    && intentions wise... I was "talking" to him before i got back together with my ex. but it faded... and now there's still a connection but no intentions... if that makes sense.
    casicielo

    Comment by casicielo (original poster) at 6:19 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Just be careful of everything you say/do. Make sure this male knows where you stand.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 6:22 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Thank you.
    casicielo

    Comment by casicielo (original poster) at 6:22 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Ask yourself this question sweetie...if shoe were on the other foot and your babys daddy was being comforted by another woman and she was there all the time how would you feel?
    Would you really be okay with it?
    In your heart lays the real answer and the fact that you posted it at all (imo) shows that you're really not comfortable with yourself doing this.
    Becareful though...no matter what....men are territorial by nature; they don't like competing for their woman's attention, even if they're never around!
    LoL been there done that.
    Missikat75

    Answer by Missikat75 at 6:40 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I DONT THINK TS EMOTIONAL OR ANY KIND OF CHEATING, ITS ONLY COMFORT UR LOOKING FOR RITE, AND BESIDES YOU ARE A WOMAN AND WE WOMAN TEND TO NEED MORE COMFORT THEN MEN ESP WHEN U GET LONELY, U STRIVE FOR SOME ATTENTION... PERSONALLY I DONT THINK U AND UR CHILDS FATHER SHOULD BE HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH GUYS HAVING THAT DISTANCE FROM EACH OTHER, BT THATS JUST MY OPINON! HOW OLD IS UR DAUGHTER, THAT U AND HIM BEEN SEPERATED FOR 15 MTHS.
    NEEKSEXI

    Answer by NEEKSEXI at 6:55 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • In some ways, yes. If your opening yourself up to someone else completely and telling them everything in you and don't share that with your DH/SO then it can be considered an affair of the heart, yes. Even if you don't mean to. If you find it more comforting or even exciting to talk and be with this other person (even in email or IM), then thats a rough road to tread.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 7:20 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • It's not cheating, it sounds like your intentions are good - but I would be very suspicious of HIS intentions. You said that he doesn't like your baby's father, I would bet money that he's going to try to do something to hurt the relationship you have with him. Be very careful. I know you're feeling lonely and maybe a little scared, but I would look elsewhere for comfort. A good female friend, family, even online support groups. Best of luck to you.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 7:41 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Put any spin you want on it but it is most definitely cheating. You're setting yourself up for disaster plus do you really want to bring a man into your daughter's life? I'm sorry, but your child comes first-no man is worth that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:48 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • While I can see where you are coming from, what do you think would happen if someone told your boyfriend you were with another guy? I think that would hurt your relationship. I think you might want to look for someone else, maybe a female or a family member. I think having another male around could only cause problems. Good luck.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 9:18 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.