Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

8 Bumps

When your teen becomes sexually active?

I don't think any parent looks forward to the time their teenager becomes sexually active but it can happen. If you know your teen is practicing safe sex and you trust them and their partner...would you allow them to have an occasional sleepover or allow them to have unsupervised time together? My dd is 15 and I'm faced with this now.

Answer Question

Asked by JanetR74 at 9:38 AM on Jan. 23, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 12 (682 Credits)
Answers (40)
  • I am glad I don't have a girl. I'm pretty sure I would take the hard line that "you have to wait until you are 18". I do not believe my son was sexually active until he was a little over 18 and his gf just turned 17. Good luck to you.

    Answer by kjrn79 at 9:40 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • having them practice safe sex is one thing but i dont think allowing them to sleepover is ok..shes only 15 and so young to be sleeping in the same bed as a boy.. its possible they may be having sex but its kind of like allowing her bf to sleep over youre allowing them to have sex in your home ... im not a prude and i get that teens will have sex i did when i was 15 but i dont agree with the sleepover

    Answer by zperez0809 at 9:45 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • sleepovers. My kids are gonna have to get creative like I did. I am so not having them doing it in my house while I know about it. ugh!!! These kids these days sure have some balls!! I would have never asked my mom if my boyfriend could spend the night so we could screw.....sweet lord!!! I hope to god that when my kids reach this age they would never ask me this, bc they might just get a smack across the face.

    Answer by LuvMyMedic3ID at 9:48 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • NO! 1st of all, there's no way to KNOW that they are having safe sex...secondly, every time you have sex, even if you take precautions, there's a chance of pregnancy, & even a chance of getting a disease. Fifteen is just plain too young. If you're not even old enough to drive, your not old enough to have sex, sex is an adult privilege AND responsibility & until you are ready to handle adult responsibilities, you shouldn't be engaged in adult activities.

    That does not mean that I'm stupid enough to think that they're not going to have sex & I definitely talked to my teens about birth control, responsibility and safe sex, but I certainly would never have facilitated it, and wouldn't have thought too much of the other parents making it easy.

    My parents were 16 when they got pregnant with a child of teen parents, who really did their best & I'm thankful to be here, I still don't believe it's smart for teens to have sex.

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:51 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I have all boys but there is no way I would allow a sleepover!! Allowing that would be like saying...I'm ok with you having sex......I'd be trying to find a way to better educate the importance of waiting. It's not just physical and there is no way a 15 is ready for that kind of emotional baggage.


    Answer by how_reb at 9:56 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I don't have a girl yet, still hoping, but no way, at least not at that age. First, my husband would probably kill them and me if I oked that but the way I look at it is they're not married or of adult age so no way. I have three boys right now and even though my husband would probably be all for them having girls over, I'm going to be the same way with them. I want to teach my boys patience, self-control, and to respect and care about women, which means no way for them too.

    Answer by BUTTERCUP777 at 10:07 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • No way, you would be condoning this behavior by allowing that. This is one bf, who is to say she breaks up with him and sleeps all over the place. Allowing this activity is asking for sooo many problems down the road. I dont care what she wants, its not her call, its yours.


    Answer by beyondhopes at 10:45 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Like you said no parent wants their teenager to become sexually active, but it's not like they would stop if you told them to. There are alot of risks involved when they have to sneak around to do it. If it was a serious relationship, they were both responsible and mature and they were respectful I would allow the sleepovers on occasion. I also would make sure the other parents were on board, I would not allow something in my house that the other parents did not allow. It's fun raising teenagers isn't it? Ughhh.

    Answer by MommaKath1975 at 10:47 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Do you honestly think a 15 yr old is old enough to handle ADULT situattions? What happens when they "forget" to take their pill, pr "forget" to use a condom... Are YOU ready to RAISE another child? Because if you LET it happen, then YOU will be the one to pick up the pieces...
    So NO, I talk to our 14 yr old son about the consequences, and the fact that he could not only get a girl pregnant, but he doesn't know where she's been, and could give him a disease. If she's carrying herpes she could give it to him just by kissing him, do YOU want that to happen to your child? They're too young to handle all of it. Be a PARENT and use your brain! Sorry this is just not something I take lightly, and niether should YOU!!

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:52 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • No sleep overs and no alone time they're 15!

    Answer by aheuszel at 11:24 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.