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2 Bumps

DH's friend...

My DH and I had a very bad year last year. Hindsight tells me I had PPD after the birth of my twins. I was extremely messed up hormonally. I was suicidal and just a mess. I've never suffered that before ever. I did see a therapist that helped a lot but we never discussed PPDM I attributed it all to a situation that came to light around the same time that I almost left my husband for. (No cheating, drugs, lieing etc.) We have since worked through things to a point that we both are quite happy. We were talking about a friend of his the other day and I realized he (DH) told his friend everything. He told him I was suicidal and that I was emotional and crying a lot. he told him that I slammed doors and was just upset all the time. I am embarrassed to say the least. I thought this was confidential between us. I get why DH needed a friend. But I am still embarrassed. I am not sure how to handle it that someone who really is a stranger to me knows so much about me in a bad way. Maybe I am too private. But I am not sure how to deal with this.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on Jan. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • It is good that your husband has a true friend he can confide in. I would want to talk with my husband about sitting down with his friend and let him know how things are now. I wouldn't hold any anger towards your hubby or his friend.
    CassiRae3

    Answer by CassiRae3 at 9:48 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • cats out of the bag now so just own up to it and learn to not act like that anymore or be more aware of the mood swings... imbarrasing yes but overcomable
    miritrose

    Answer by miritrose at 9:48 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I hope its safe to assume that since he confided in this friend during your difficult times, that he has also confided in the progress you have made. Everyone needs someone to talk to. Try not to think about what the friends knows or even what he thinks about you. What matters is that you & your DH have worked thru your problems & overcome them. The friend is sure to see that. And if he doesnt- who cares- you are a happier family now- that's what counts! :)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:26 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I would be pissed.  I would give myself 48 hours to cry, be upset, be angry, tell my hub that I am pissed, and then get over it.  It's over said and done with now.  I would also make a mention to hubby that while I understand he needs someone to talk to, that crossed the line.  That was personal to you and should not have been shared.  I have had similar things happen and I have told things that my hub didn't appreciate.  We sat down and discussed what aspects of each others lives are comfortable to share with others and what's not.  I know that your uncomfortable with what's been told but what's the big deal really?  A LOT of women suffer thru this in silence.  Maybe if you speak out on it, you'll comfort someone else who is in that situation NOW.  It is absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of or embarassed about!  :)

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 10:30 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I wouldn't be embarrassed (although I understand why you are). It's wonderful that your DH had someone to confide in. Don't beat yourself up for what happened in the past.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 10:30 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I agree with scuba...I persoanlly don't think I would be embarassed * though I've never been in that situation...* however I would try to look at it this way: I was a mess by (though it may not have seemed so) my wonderful dh stuck it out thru all the ups and downs of not just having twins but also adding ppd into it! He was jsut your support(again may not have seemed so) but it had to of been difficult you probably weren't the exact woman he married but he loves you. He needed soemone to talk to and it fell to a friend. I highly doubt the friend blames you or would try to embarass you...he has to have the info that that's not how you rreally are. You said you're better and if your husband is worth his salt he's been sharing much happier stories of the 2 of you. Cheer up you are still together and stayed together ;) good luck with those twins
    elyssek832

    Answer by elyssek832 at 11:44 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

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