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Cheating

I want to know what you would do if you found out after 5 years of marriage your husband has been having a affair you think the whole time, And he got her pregnant while you were pregnant and didn't come home when you gave birth but was there when she gave birth. And let me remind you he was the love of my life and I trusted him with all my heart and soul. I never ever thought he would ever cheat on me.I only had eye's for him!! When I found out he asked me to forgive him and told him I will never forgive him. And he could go back to her. He told me nobody is prefect and I should forgive him for that reason. I told him that is never going to happen my kids and I will be just fine without him.

 
healthymom323

Asked by healthymom323 at 9:40 AM on Jan. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • You forgive someone to give yourself peace......not to let them off the hook. However forgetting is something that is not likely in a situation like this. If it would of happened once then yes I would say to give it another try if you feel like you could but he formed a relationship with her, he treated her like his other half, he did more for her than he did for you......someone that he took vowels with, someone that he said he would love and never betray.

    You are in a tough situation, on one hand you want him in your life because of your kids and everything that you've shared.....on the other hand you are feeling like everything you've shared is a lie, while you were living a happy life he was living a double life. You are the only one that can decide if you want to stay with him, whatever decision you make make sure that you are happy with it and you can live with it.

    Good luck
    colethky

    Answer by colethky at 10:00 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I can't even imagine how betrayed you must feel. Sorry you're going through this. I think I would do the exact same thing as you.
    Syphon

    Answer by Syphon at 9:42 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • How long ago did this happen? I would be a complete wreck and couldn't imagine this happening. I wish you all the luck in the world
    CassiRae3

    Answer by CassiRae3 at 9:44 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • If he wrecked the car...forgive him, if he spent too much money....forgive him....if he treated you and your marriage as nothing more than a pastime so he could play elsewhere....DIVORCE!!! I'm so sorry for what you're going through...want me to punch him in the frank & beans for ya?

    how_reb

    Answer by how_reb at 9:47 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Tell him you will eventually forgive him- from a distance. But that doesn't mean he's ever welcome to be a part of your life again. I'm sorry you went through this, and good job on being wise enough to move on.
    mandaday

    Answer by mandaday at 9:49 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • i have one word for this situation.. unacceptable. leave his sorry ass
    zperez0809

    Answer by zperez0809 at 9:41 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I would have no use left for the man other than him being a father to our child.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 9:45 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I'd hunt him down, rip his ba**s off, shove his d*ck up his arse and then ask his other girlfriend how he likes him now
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:48 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • This is very difficult and unless you have been through it and the person (DH) is the love of your life you can't actually give good advise. I have been there and done this. In my case it wasn't a long time affair it was many women over the years. And, never did he have a child with that person that would have just broke me. In my case I did finally get to the point that I couldn't deal anymore and I told him to leave. We were separated for a year and he did come back to me. We go to therapy he goes to therapy and he was diagnosed bi-polar which was causing him to act like he was.


    That being said you have to decied what you can live with?  Can you get passed this?  Can you trust him?  There is another child which means there is a constant reminder.  I think therapy.  Good luck you can friend me if you need to vent.


    ((Hugs))

    christinato

    Answer by christinato at 9:59 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I swear some men can only think w/ one head at a time! The cheating AND the baby w/ the other woman AND not being there for you when you had your child AND him trying to justify it = DIVORCE! He will only do it again, & he is forever tied to his "mistake" b/c of the child he made w/ her. I wish you & your family all the luck ther is. Get counseling for you & your children if necessary, to help you cope w/ this betrayal. *Hugs*
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:02 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

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