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2 Bumps

Is this something I should be concerned about??

DD is 4 and in Pre-K. There is one littel girl that she always says is her friend but she also says that this girl is mean to her. She has another friend too so its sometimes the 3 of them playing together. When dd tries to play with them the one little girl always tells her that she is not their friend and cannot play with them. The other little girl loves dd and still listens more to the "mean" one and ignores dd. My MIL drove my dds school and saw her sitting alone in the playground while the other kids were playing. DD denied it so maybe she was sitting down takin a breather? It kills me as her mother to know this. She doesnt bring this up untill I ask how her day was. Its not like she comes home crying. Am I overreacting? Is this normal behavior for that age? Should I talk to her teacher or just shoot her an email? TIA

PS I just askd her now who are friends are she named every kid other than the two I mentioned. When I mentioned the nice girls name she said " Not she's her(the "mean" one) friend. They dont like me" This breaks my heart!


Asked by Steph319 at 10:06 AM on Jan. 23, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 21 (11,543 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I'm a preschool teacher and I would talk to your childs teacher. Chances are that the teacher knows what is going on. At this age this is totally normal. Most children at this age do not have just one friend and they will have different friends daily. The behavior, as mean as it is, is NORMAL for this age. Being mean is not ok and that is what needs to be addressed, but at this age it's normal! In my class I hear things on a daily basis, "you can't come to my bday party" "your not wearing pink so you can't play with us" so on and so on. Girls can be so harsh, but as a teacher it's my job to talk with all involved. Talk to her teacher and see what they are doing to help your DD! Communication between home and school is key!!!!! When you drop off your DD ask your teacher if she has a free moment to talk and if she doesn't at the moment ask her when a good time would be to talk to her/him!

    Answer by whitefamily at 12:42 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Yup, kids are mean. But it would be the teacher's job to stop this bully attitude. I would talk to the teacher because it can go further later. When I worked at preschool we usually were really aware of bullying like this. Kids do this. One day one friend, the other day the other. But if someone doesn't let the other play with something or someone, it is seriously unprofessional from the teacher to let them. Talk to the teacher just let her know. I am sorry your child has to go through on this:( Hugs.


    Answer by adriennfaklya at 10:11 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • We all want our kids to have friends and be happy but as life often works....that's not always gonna happen. I know it sounds mean but this is just the beginging and it will get worse. Make sure you let her know that she is loved and some people are just mean.

    Answer by how_reb at 10:11 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • i would talk to the teacher and ask her to keep on eye on ur dd and this other little girl maybe she can get a better perspective one whats going on

    Answer by zperez0809 at 10:14 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • "No*

    Comment by Steph319 (original poster) at 10:07 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Should I email her teacher or talk to her in person?

    Comment by Steph319 (original poster) at 10:16 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • threesomes are tough especially at this young age. They do not always have the capacity to include another without feeling threatened. Email or talk to the teacher. I would want to make sure my daughter was playing with others and not alone on the playground. It doesn't matter with who as long as she is playing happily.

    Answer by elizabr at 10:19 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I would personally talk to the teacher and let her know that your child has indicated that some kids are 'mean' to her. You daughter doesn't have to be friends with everyone in the class, but if someone doesn't want to be her friend, they should still treat her with respect.
    I teach the students in my class that they don't have to like, or be friends with everyone, but the still need to be respectful to those people.

    Answer by layh41407 at 10:19 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Kids are mean. Talk to the teacher and have her keep an eye on the situation.

    Answer by TARARENEE at 10:19 AM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Talk to her in person. That way u can see if the teacher is genuinely concerned w/ whats going on with ur daughter

    Answer by tiamesmer at 10:21 AM on Jan. 23, 2011