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Do you ever feel like you are missing out on life? Do you ever feel you can't contribute more to a conversation?

I use to work 80 hours a weeks, 7 days a week, traveling, communicating constantly, now all I can really say to anyone is how my preemie is doing so great, and she is taking her milk better, or she just smiled, people get frustrated with me, but if they really knew, I don't have anything else but my daughter. It actually making me really sad how useless I feel right now.

Anyone else deal with these things, how do you get thru it?

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AshBaldwin011

Asked by AshBaldwin011 at 12:46 PM on Jan. 23, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 4 (37 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • I feel like this all the time then I take one look at my children and I'm glad I am not missing out on all their first. The first few years are the most important and I;m glad to be here with them. So I had to put things off for a few years. Just because I had to give things up now doesn't mean I have to do it forever. I will start up on things again once they enter school age.
    I use to work about 50-60 hours a week as well, I miss it but not as much as I would miss being a SAHM.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:50 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Definitely.  You are not useless.  The conversation changes because the life changes.  Talk with other moms, most of us understand when other moms talk about their kids or their house or what's for dinner, etc.  Just find some like minded people and you won't feel alone.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 12:51 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Yes! All us at-home parents (dads, too) feel like we are out of touch and behind on things, socially lacking and unfulfilled. I started going to the gym just to give myself something out of the house to do and I've never been a big gym person, but its something at least.

    I reconnected with some old friends on FB and really had nothing interesting to catch up on. I don't know what to tell them. Oh I just sit around the house 20 hours a day and rarely do anything or talk to anybody...ya thats real exciting. I feel ya, OP.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 12:52 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I was a SAHM for about 2 yrs and I lost all my communicating skills. I was always shy and quiet but going to college I got rid of that and after college I had her and stayed home everyday. I only spoke to her and didnt really have friends around. So now Im working and cant find my voice. I hate it and being a SAHM is great but I lost myself being one with no interaction with the real world.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Keep in mind this is temporary. Once she is bigger you can get involved with all sorts of activities and even work if you want. I know one young SAHM mom who is totally emersed in organizing all sorts of moms groups, working with the schools, etc. Keep smiling and look for any opportunity to get out there.........in your town activities, play groups, story hour, etc, etc. hug
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 1:01 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Nope. I feel like I'm doing the most important thing I could ever do with my life. If I worked, I'd feel like I was missing out. Kids are only little for a short while, and I want to spend every second I can with mine.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 1:09 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Yes, I have felt this way too. I have been at home for 8 years now and it is tough. I love it but it is the hardest thing in the world to do. Try to tell yourself it is temporary and someday you will be back working out in the world. Your baby needs you so much and there are thousands of us just like you. Sending you good energy and I wish you all the best. Make sure every once and a while you get a few hours to do some things for yourself. If you feel you are getting depressed at any time you should talk to your dr for sure.
    mayberry

    Answer by mayberry at 1:09 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • No. I try to stay updated on current events, even if it's just Yahoo! news. I get out with my DH or friends at least once a week for adult-only conversation. I read a lot.

    Just because we are SAHM's doesn't mean that the only thing we can contribute to a conversation is how to get stains out of laundry or babies!! :) It doesn't take much time to keep up with what's going on outside our homes.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 1:20 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • not every day like everyone here is making it out to be. I cant really remember the last time I felt that way. I worked 60hrs a week in child care before I had my son so it's really no big difference to me. I teach him here at home just as I would teach other children in a child care center. I just have more freedom to go out with him or nap with him. I feel blessed to be at home with him and never feel out of touch with the world. I have friends that also have children so thats what we talk about or I go over to my parents house to hang out there with my family. I do spend some "me" time when m,y son is asleep or once my husband gets home but even my me time always ends up to be about my son. I usually sew somthing for him go on line. I knew ahead of time this is what I was "getting" myself into :) I plan to home school him also so I'm in it for the long run! :)
    Nienna7477

    Answer by Nienna7477 at 1:23 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • You aren't useless, and I wonder, are the people you are speaking to about her progress parents?? Any parent wouldn't be frustrated to hear of another parents pride and happiness. Hang in there!! I choose to stay home with my 1 and 2 yr old. It's only a short time in the scheme of things, and I'm not going to work just to race around and send my kids to daycare. Just my opinion. As stressful as days are and I think, Man I wish I would send them somewhere just 3 hours a day..... in the end it's been the best decision. Now when they are a little older they will go to a day care preschool setting to get ready to the routine of an educational setting. But anyways, you keep doing what you are doing!! Don't let others get you down.
    2BlondeBabies

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 1:23 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

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