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2 Bumps

how do I get my husband to see he is being manipulated?

I have been married to my husband for 2 years. His ex is jealous and bad mouths me to their @ boys, 14 and 18. They now refuse to visit at our house and want him to visit at their moms house. He misses them so he complies. She even throws b-day parties at his moms house and then says I cant go, and then tells him the boys want their dad here but she also tells him that he ruined their life marrying me. the boys also tell him they will only visit on weekends if he will stay with them at the grandmothers house and not go to our home. The kids never had a problem at our house they just get alot of crap from their mom when they go home.She tells the boys your dad doesnt love you anymore, he loves his wife now. It breaks his heart to hear this from them so he goes along with what they say. My marriage is so stressful I think I should just get out. Please help me, I do love this man, I have kids of my own and there are none of thes

Answer Question
 
monique7714

Asked by monique7714 at 1:52 PM on Jan. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (28 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Damn! I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you. It sounds messed up :(


     


    angry

    HappyGirl44

    Answer by HappyGirl44 at 1:59 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I don't know that there is anything you can do. If it is really having a negative impact on your marriage, I would suggest the two of you talking to an impartial third party, like a counselor.
    mandaday

    Answer by mandaday at 2:02 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I'm sorry you're going through this. I wish I had some advice..but here's a bump. *hug*
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 2:28 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • its really hard to go through this and it does more harm emotionally to the kids then it causes the parents. i've been on your side before with an exboyfriend and i know how it feels. you want to be there for ur hubby to show him support and be part of his family, but with the resistance of his kids mother it feels impossible to break that barrier she's built up. it sucks to say, but u'll probably never win her over, no matter what ur always going to be seen as a threat, thats just how it goes. but i would suggest the three of you do whats best for the kids and sit down with a counselor. there is obviously things that need to be said and worked out, its not fair to your husband that his kids mother says bad things about him or you to the kids. maybe if the 3 of you sit with a counselor you might be able to come up with some kind of agreement that works for all of you. good luck.
    JenaandSean

    Answer by JenaandSean at 2:40 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Talk to your husband one more time and tell him he needs to stop! My fiance's ex did the same thing to us. One day she threatened to never let him see the boys again. It hurt him bad. But I yelled into the phone, good that gives him more time here with my kids. She never threatened that again. She was jealous my kids would take away her kids dad. Of course, I didnt really mean it, but she didn't know that. sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. If your husband would stop giving in and letting her be the boss of both homes, he could put a stop to it. he has to be firm and tell her enough is enough. he needs to talk to the boys alone and tell them how much he loves them and that they could have two happy families if their mom would stop being mean. he should tell them that you want them to be part of your family and all the drama to be gone. i could go on and on but i will stop here. good luck. it is all up to your husband
    Diana K.

    Answer by Diana K. at 7:29 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

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