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3 Bumps

HELP!!!!!She stunk....!!! Want to ban her from seeing my children. LONG-ISH

So my mother in law use to be a very successful and respected woman in her day. A few years ago, she lost her home, and began picking up odd jobs here and there. She finally got a job working for a construction company as an admin assistant. She makes good money, and lives alone. She barely have any bills to pay, and her mortgage on her new home is only $500 a month, but yet she is ALWAYS broke. Recently she would lie about where she is and or what she is doing. Her son, my hubby, talked to her about it and told her that she does not have to lie to us about what she is doing, she is a grown woman and can do as she please. But it's starting to affect her relationship with our children. She would always tell us she is coming over, and NEVER show up. We would call her and ask were she is and she would lie and say she it at home sleep, but usually when we call her it's because we are outside her home. One night we left her alone with the kids, 1 and 3 @ the time. When we got home, my poor babies were sitting on the couch hugging each other. She was passed out on the couch, fast asleep. Looked like she did not move since we left. My babies must have been hungry because we found food on the floor, fridge open, and juice spilled in the kitchen. I told my husband I did not want her to watch the kids anymore and since that day she has not, but offers all the time. (I would rather leave them with strangers).
Today she told my hubby she would come over and cook. Well she never came, so he called her and left some pretty nasty messages. Soon after she showed up. She told my husband, when he called her earlier in the day that she was at the grocery store picking up food to cook. When she came over she was empty handed. He asked her why and she said that the store did not have what she wanted. BULLSHIT!!! Anywho SHE SMELLED ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE, AND LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS NOT ALL THERE and refused to make eye contact with me. We don't know if she is on drugs because, well we just don't know what to look for... HELPPPPPPP
Should I set some boundaries and talk to her??? Or should I let my husband do it, and not overstep my boundaries???

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Jan. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • Sounds like she may need help. Could she have dementia?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • She's on drugs. She was asleep on the sofa rather than actually watching her grandchildren. She smells bad, not making eye contact, etc. She's either on drugs or she has a mental issue that has never been diagnosed. But being that she's always broke, I'm betting on the drugs and probably meth.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 5:02 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • twinsplus2more: OMG I cried when I red your reply. It would break my husbands heart. I know she does not have mental issues and is not have dementia.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:04 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • It's either drugs or a mental issue, or gambling. A lot of elderly people get caught up in gambling and lose everything that way.
    But I am leaning towards drugs. There is never an age limit on that, and the way you describe her would make me think she was doing drugs. Sleeping while watching the children, filthy, no money, making excuses when she doesn't need to be.
    I'm sorry and I don't have any advice but to talk to your husband, get a game plan and confront your mil. -hugs-
    Gnomeofmyheart

    Answer by Gnomeofmyheart at 5:08 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Sounds like drugs to me....and I've got plenty of people in my family who have drug problems so I can recognize the warning signs. Hope you can get her help!

    banana-bear

    Answer by banana-bear at 5:12 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I am wondering if drugs or drinking is a problem for her? I would definately NOT let her watch the kids anymore you are smart in your decision there that sounds very scary for them. I think it might be wise for you and DH to confront her jointly andexpress your concerns in a non accusing way of course! Are any other family members or friends seeing changes? If she is calling just you to set up visits you have every right to say no and that you are busy but i would confront her with your concerns jointly and be prepared she may get angry and in that case it may be time for some tough love... so sorry that yuo are going through this
    rebeccadac

    Answer by rebeccadac at 5:16 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • i would bet drugs too...although i lean a bit more toward it being opiates (pain pills)
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 5:18 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I would stalk her, for her own well being....she needs to be stalked. Someone needs to help that lady, something is terribly wrong & someone needs to find out what it is. If it was my mom, i would get to the bottom of it even if it meant following her when she doesn't know it.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 5:37 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I am so sorry for you and your family. Children first! take care of them. But please talk to your husband and try to help his mom. She needs you two right now. I am not on drugs, alcohol or even cigarettes, but i suffer depression and my family makes a difference. not one of them takes it serious and makes sure I am happy. not that it is their job, but people need to knw someone cares. it can make all the difference in the world. have a heart to heart with her and maybe she will go back to her old self with your's and you husbands help. when she says she is coming over and doesn't, u know she probably won't anyway so don't even tell the children. hope everything works out for you. God Bless
    Diana K.

    Answer by Diana K. at 5:51 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • You knew she was acting weird, you left your little ones with her and yet you get angry with her? You need to be responsible as the parent and protect your children. Leave the woman alone. Stop inviting her over. Stop badgering her and stalking her. You are wasting too much time on her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:24 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

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