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14 Bumps

my mans in prison and i need your opinions adult content

okay my name is ashley i met my husband 6 years ago and we have be struggling since the begining living state to state trying to make it. we have a daughter amost 4! and a son almost 2! we were living in Tuscon, AZ and we've had domestic in the past and it got very violent there and he went to prison in may of 2010 and he gets out in june of 2012! i guess what im asking help for is if he can change or im i an idiot for taking him back! it was a very dramatic event.... more then the previous times! its hard to get into details but he was completly alien to me this spicific time and ended up being under the influence of one of my perscriptions and tried to kill me (in my mind) so i defended myself and my children and then lock him up! can prison time change him and heal the wounds? he loves and needs me as do i him! what should i do? talk to me!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on Jan. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (48)
  • If he's in prison for 2 years for domestic violence against you then it was probably something very serious. He tried to KILL you? Why the HELL would you want someone like that around your kids, father or not?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:22 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • OH my girl! I am worried for you! Please DO NOT go back to him! Just because he went to jail does not mean he is rehilibitated!!!!!! What happens the next time he gets mad??? you DID mention that he tried to KILL you!!! think of your kids here if he was successful where would THEY be??? let alone you??@?! JMO but I would divorce him before he comes out then run and NOT have anything to do with him and I would even not let him see the kids unless supervised! You need to protect yourself and your kids.... screw what he is thinking and feeling!
    rebeccadac

    Answer by rebeccadac at 5:25 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • so changing is not an option?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:25 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Let him go....or you are going to be dead before your kids are grown.
    jdbrown21

    Answer by jdbrown21 at 5:26 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I can't say if prison is changing him or not but do you really want to put yourself and your children in that situation again? Lots of people claim to change and jail or prison does make them sing that song for as long as they are in there. They may act sweet and changed when they first get home but old habits die hard and tend to resurface. I do commend you for trying to stick it out for 2 years while he sits in prison, but if it were me I would move on. Good luck with this and may god bless and guide you.
    MyOpionCounts

    Answer by MyOpionCounts at 5:26 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • It would not be wise to take him back.
    mandaday

    Answer by mandaday at 5:26 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • he's likely stewing in prison and will get out angrier and more violent than before. I am nearly 100% certain he wont get out on time, though. He'll fight in there and have additional time added on.

    1) are one/both of those kids his? get DNA tests if needed and get his rights terminated
    2) move
    3) get orders for protection for you and any family/friends of yours he knows the address's of
    4) contact the warden, parole board, and local womens shelter for help, funding, legal aid, and suggestions on additional things to help keep you and those kids alive when he's released.

    good luck, think smart. that love/relationship is over. period. you do not want to have a violent felon with you and your kids. it's a bad thing.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 5:26 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I'd move on. If he tried to kill you, under meds or not, he tried to kill you.
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 5:27 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • from my understand people come out of prison even worse off than they were before. why would you want to go back to that? you still have a few hrs, hopefully you'll met someone decent in the mean time.
    MrsNewman

    Answer by MrsNewman at 5:28 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • The predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Very few violent men ever change. Why put your kids in that position?

    I would move on. Are you surviving without him? Probably YES, so why take him back? Is he good for your kids? Be honest with yourself.

    Good Luck to you and your kids. God Bless You All.
    AdrianaS

    Answer by AdrianaS at 5:31 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

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