I've just turned 19. I got pregnant when I was 15 and gave birth just shy of my 16th birthday, I was told by my family that the best thing for my child was to give her up, so I did. I regret my decision every day but it cannot be undone and I know she is happy and healthy and that matters more. I feel like a mom, because even though she's not here I worry about her and I think of her and I can't be a mom because she's not here and she never will be. I wasn't the type to have a boyfriend, it was a one time thing when I got pregnant and I'd barely ever socialised with boys before and haven't really since.
My parents got into financial difficulties when I was 16 so I started a business on the side of school, I naively thought that money would help me as well as them. It became quite successful and I've managed to completely eradicate and money issues we had and now I've finished school the business is all I have. I shunned any friends I had because they couldn't understand how felt and I chose to earn and to try to spend time with my family, however we're not close knit and I don't think we're ever destined to be.
Now I'm looking at my life and I don't have any purpose. I have nothing to wake up for in the morning except money and I know for many they wish that was it but I'd give anything for somebody to care about. There aren't any local 'clubs' or anything for people my age and I feel like I'm going to be on my own forever.
Can anyone relate? Does anyone have any suggestions? I know I may sound stupid but it's hard, my family are very separate from each other and we don't even have family friends. I'm just having a tough time and my family still are reeling from my pregnancy years ago and still don't feel I'm justified in missing her. I'm just at a loss really.
Asked by Anonymous at 8:16 PM on Jan. 23, 2011 in Relationships
Do you think you might benefit from some individual counseling? It always helped me. Also you might search at www.meetup.com for some brunch groups, lunch groups, bowling, reading, or movie goers groups in your area. You can search for groups having to do with whatever interests you have. You might make some new friends that way. Atl east it would let you focus on something new. As painful as giving up your baby was, it was selfless and loving. I wish all the best for you and hope you take care of yourself and possibly find some new interests to pursue. hug
Answer by elizabr at 8:25 PM on Jan. 23, 2011
Answer by elizabr at 8:26 PM on Jan. 23, 2011
Answer by miritrose at 8:27 PM on Jan. 23, 2011
Answer by tootoobusy at 8:27 PM on Jan. 23, 2011
Answer by hill2 at 8:37 PM on Jan. 23, 2011
Answer by zboys at 9:19 PM on Jan. 23, 2011