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Have you ever felt lonely and like you didn't have a purpose?

I've just turned 19. I got pregnant when I was 15 and gave birth just shy of my 16th birthday, I was told by my family that the best thing for my child was to give her up, so I did. I regret my decision every day but it cannot be undone and I know she is happy and healthy and that matters more. I feel like a mom, because even though she's not here I worry about her and I think of her and I can't be a mom because she's not here and she never will be. I wasn't the type to have a boyfriend, it was a one time thing when I got pregnant and I'd barely ever socialised with boys before and haven't really since.

My parents got into financial difficulties when I was 16 so I started a business on the side of school, I naively thought that money would help me as well as them. It became quite successful and I've managed to completely eradicate and money issues we had and now I've finished school the business is all I have. I shunned any friends I had because they couldn't understand how felt and I chose to earn and to try to spend time with my family, however we're not close knit and I don't think we're ever destined to be.

Now I'm looking at my life and I don't have any purpose. I have nothing to wake up for in the morning except money and I know for many they wish that was it but I'd give anything for somebody to care about. There aren't any local 'clubs' or anything for people my age and I feel like I'm going to be on my own forever.

Can anyone relate? Does anyone have any suggestions? I know I may sound stupid but it's hard, my family are very separate from each other and we don't even have family friends. I'm just having a tough time and my family still are reeling from my pregnancy years ago and still don't feel I'm justified in missing her. I'm just at a loss really.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:16 PM on Jan. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Do you think you might benefit from some individual counseling? It always helped me. Also you might search at www.meetup.com for some brunch groups, lunch groups, bowling, reading, or movie goers groups in your area.  You can search for groups having to do with whatever interests you have. You might make some new friends that way.  Atl east it would let you focus on something new.  As painful as giving up your baby was, it was selfless and loving.  I wish all the best for you and hope you take care of yourself and possibly find some new interests to pursue.   hug

    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:25 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • *At least*
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:26 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • hugs things will be fine and time will heal the best advice i could offer is join a support group of women that have given up their babies to adoption and perhaps pick up a craft or somesort of hobby on the side... get out a little to meet people and eventually you will meet the right guy who will be the right kind of person to live for and restart a new family... things will be fine.. hugs again
    miritrose

    Answer by miritrose at 8:27 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • You have your whole life ahead. Clubs are not where you will find a lasting relationship. Church, volunteer, go back to school. Do you live with your parents? Get out and meet people. There are so many people out there that feel like you.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 8:27 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • aw...sorry for your pain. You are youngand do have time and seemed to have a good head on your shoulders. giving up a child is never easy.
    hill2

    Answer by hill2 at 8:37 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • You have accomplished so much more in your young life that I ever did at that age. I agree with the other gals: church, volunteer your time to a cause you're interested in, take a class, and/or join a support group. I can't even imagine what that must be like to have given your baby to a loving couple and to miss your child. I feel for you. You are obviously a very mature young woman; you have sooo much to offer your community. Look at your experiences you've had. You could volunteer in a crisis pregnancy center and help other young mothers such as yourself. And you ARE a mother, by the way. No doubt about it. You are that baby's biological mother. You have your whole life ahead of you. Keep your chin up. Things will get better. Hugs to you and I wish you the best.
    zboys

    Answer by zboys at 9:19 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

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