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What's the difference between asking a man out and waiting around for him to ask you out?

Either're the one doing the work, right? So why do some women say..."I won't chase a man or wait around for him to show interest" and in the same breath they say..."Ask HIM out!"

I don't get it...what's the difference?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Jan. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • The difference is that if you ask him out, you don't know how he feels about you and you may never. If he asks YOU out, you knowthat he cares enough to pursue you. For me, it's a place I'd rather be.

    Answer by charlottej at 8:56 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • What if this guy is super nice and acts interested, but hasn't asked you long do you wait for him to, if YOU are interested in HIM?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:59 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I think if you ask him out, and he is interested he will say yes. If he says no, then he was never interested to begin with. I would much rather know sooner than later if a guy is interested than sit around waiting and waiting. It isn't like you are asking for his hand in marriage, you are just asking him out. Some guys actually like to be asked out. They are just as nervous as women about that stuff, they just try not to show it.

    Answer by CarriePM at 9:03 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • If he acts interested and he's not a fake, he'll ask you out. Most well brought -up men know that they're the ones who ask.. How long do you wait? Forever. and let the next nice, interested young man, who is straight or has the balls, ask you out for a real date.

    Answer by charlottej at 9:04 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • "Most well brought-up men...." This isn't the 1950's and well brought up men can also be shy. "Has the balls...." that is a lot of pressure to be putting on a dude. Welcome to the 21st century Betty Crocker. Girl, ask him out. You will get your answer much faster that way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Try making/buying a simple lunch for two, and invite him to share it. Tell him that you didn't know what you were thinking (you were more than 1/2 asleep, etc.) , you made/brought so much!? Make it like a joke! That way there's no pressure and you'd find out if he's interested in a "real" date by the way he responds, and if he likes your lunch, chances are he'll enjoy a date!

    Answer by lakotakat at 4:56 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • anonymous, Clearly you're not USED to "well brought-up" men". So did that work for you? Did he fall in LOVE with you? Go ahead with your claims of old fashioned bullshit. and then tell me if allowing a guy to be a guy is putting pressure on him!! (A guy you would really WANT, of course).

    Answer by charlottej at 4:09 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

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