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3 Bumps

Grew up without BM and BD. IF you went through this, what do you use.

I grew up with out parents. BOth died when I was very young. To young to remember them. Grandmother who was born in the 20's and showed no affection raised me.
What other than what I may have "seen" from friends parents, do I use as guidlines to raise my own. SO afraid of making unreversable mistakes, having no guidance of my own. I tend to be easy on them not wanting to make them upset.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on Jan. 23, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • all parents are afraid of making mistakes, just use good judgement and morals when making decisions with your children. love them, teach them to treat others how they'd like to be treated, and remember that YOU are human.
    Wowifey

    Answer by Wowifey at 11:00 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • THank you.......... I have a BS, SS, Adopted......... so different in every way
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:02 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I was adopted and My parents hated me and they only adopted me to get my brother and after she even still hates me today so I know how you feel.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:06 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • So I just did the opposite of what she did and and my father and practiced by having a circle of good friends who were good parents it helped support always helps.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:08 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • My Mother was an orphan and when my DD was killed I went to grief therapy. In the 3 yrs I got into different parts of my life and one was my Mother and different things she said or did. My therapist said a lot of the things she said sounded exactly like a girl would say as if in an orphanage and having NO MOTHER figure. She gave me a book because I was a Mother raising my children and basically had no real Mother figure in my life, in a way. She gave me a book called "The Whole Parent" How to become a teriffic parent if you didn't have one. By Debra Wesselmann. Now I'm a senior and I still took this book and read it as to have insight into the ways of how my Mother treated me, as 1 of 3 children, I was the only one really abuse physically, or at least the MOST. If you can find the book, it may be very helful to you.
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 11:43 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • ~*Hugs*~... I grew up in a home where I would not bring what I went through, witnessed, endured into the lives of my children... and your story reminds me of a aprenting book I read, where the author went through the same thing (mom died of cancer though, and grandmother that wasn't highly affectionate raised her)...

    I read, and my husband teases the local library is going to red flag my card, because most books revolve around parenting!!! And I love getting advice from those that have been "successful"... asking those that failed at parenting is like asking someone on welfare how to become rich... if that makes sense
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 1:48 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Use love and discipline as your guidelines. Join a local group of moms...you'll learn a lot. Some groups are called MOPS..."Mothers of Preschoolers" and the moms spend the afternoon together while the kids are in the play room. There you could learn a lot by asking questions or just listening. Also, join more online groups like this one (MomsLikeMe is a good one too) to gain support.
    SandyHack

    Answer by SandyHack at 3:27 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • My parents never showed much affection toward any of us kids. i.e. telling us the love us or giving us hugs. I just try to make sure I tell my kids everyday how special they are to me and tell them I love them and make sure i give them hugs. We give lots of hugs in our family and my kids understand that a hug means we love them just as much as saying it.
    tyandlukesmom

    Answer by tyandlukesmom at 3:29 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • There is a wonderful book called "Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves" by Naomi Aldort: http://www.naomialdort.com/


    I am a huge fan of T. Berry Brazelton, and his book "Touchpoints"  http://www.touchpoints.org/


     

    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:15 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • pinkdragon.. I feel like as if my GM only took us in, due to the fact of it being a morale of we where her daughters children... I do the opposite as she did as well.....lots of affection to my children.
    myangel, I am so sorry for your loss, I will definitely look into that book!
    mommaclark if you can email me any good titles too, I am all for it. Always looking for more knowledge, life is different now then when I was growing up. I have a feeling our households could be very similar.
    sandyhack, thank you as well. That is one of the hopes I have for this site, started to look into ppl in my area as well.
    tyandlikesmom as well as all you other ladies, thank you for your input.

    One thing I absolutely do is love all my kids, even though they where all brought to me in a different way....... looking forward to a lot of reading.

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:45 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

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