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My preteen is weepy

My 10-year-old has been a bit moody for the past year, and there have been signs of puberty, so I chalked it up to that.

However, this past week she's been quite weepy, and in the past month, she's been weepy over things that she previously was used to. She's been attending sleepovers at Grandma's since see was 6-weeks old (monthly, at that!). She's had sleepovers at friends' houses and not needed to come home. And she's begged for sleepovers with her cousins at her other Grandma's house many times (and gone to them).

But lately, she gets anxious and cries, and then gets stress-induced stomach aches. I've tried to find out everything -- even the possibility of someone being inappropriate with her -- and she said she's just worried she'll become homesick. But, she'll start to tear up every time it is brought up. She'll cry herself to sleep. Last night, she started crying right before we were ready to leave her at Grandma's for one overnight (it was 7p). She's very quiet about it, and doesn't do it for drama. She doesn't use it to "gain" anything, and half the time we have to drag it out of her re: something being wrong. We told her it was ok, she could come home if that's what she chose (which she did). She cried all the way hour.

And the latest...last week she had a one-hour bus trip to an away basketball game with grades 4-6 at her school. She has been on oodles of field trips, bus trips, and sports events before. This time she said she was afraid she'd have no one to talk to. However, she is a well-liked child and is rarely in a conflict. Her teachers report this year after year, that she is the best student to have because she gets along so well with others. I checked it out...she says she isn't getting bullied and there are no reports of it. (Its a small school, 13 kids in her grade).

So why the sudden anxiety with this stuff? My husband (her dad) and I get along well and hug and kiss in front of the kids...I've asked her if she's ever been worried about divorce (since it comes up with kids at school, and her grandparents are all divorced) and she says no. I'm just totally at a loss. She isn't a sheltered child, and usually is very confident.

Just her age??

Answer Question

Asked by SandyHack at 11:05 PM on Jan. 23, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 16 (3,120 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Makes me sad for her (and you). Sounds like you've really tried to make sure nothing serious has changed. Hopefully it's just the age. She's suddenly feeling insecure for some reason. You might get her someone to talk to (even school counselor) and quietly ask her friends and look for even a flicker of doubt in them. And for now, perhaps she should stay home for a while, skip the sleepovers and get a ride to certain activities over the bus. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • i wish i could be of more help. but i would be at a loss also??? that sounds to me like a little more than just age. i never went thru anything like that at that age. & i have a son whos almost 11. i dont want to worry you..but i would keep looking into all aspects because something truly seems to be affecting her. really. maybe get her alone & have a true intervention. just mom & daugheter , no one else. tell her how very concerned you much she can trust you & let her know anything she tells you is strictly between the two of you & not to be afraid & that you promise to fix any problem she has & u want to help. good luck with everything. maybe even try couseling where she can sit down with someone else that she might open up to

    Answer by hellokitty1978 at 11:14 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • Have there been any other losses, like a friend moving away or the loss of a pet? I agree, perhaps talking to the school counselor/pastor etc, sometimes mom is just too close and those people are trained to ask the questions we never think of. Best wishes!

    Answer by irishcoffee at 11:16 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • No losses right deaths in the family, no divorces, no moves...she's still confident in other areas of her life (school work, sports, etc). And she is never alone with someone who could be bullying her or harming her, or that her behavior changes around. I'm trying to think of someone else she could talk to, thanks for getting me thinking about that, ladies! Oh, I also told her tonight to start journaling, to see if that helps her.

    Comment by SandyHack (original poster) at 11:20 PM on Jan. 23, 2011

  • I was 10 years old when i started my period!I was the only girl in school that had it so young,and i did act weepy,and sad alot before.This makes you seem so weird when nobody else i could talk to about it but my mom and older sisters.

    Answer by grismelda at 4:47 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • You can first let her know you are then when she is ready to tell you what is upsetting her. You could get her to see the school counsel.


    Answer by HomeAlone45 at 2:14 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

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