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2 Bumps

Does it ever work out when people cheat and move in with their lover and get married...does it really last a long time? or it is more likely to crash and burn?

I know somebody who cheated and left her husband and the guy also left his wife.
they have been together a few short months and swear they will love eachother forever because they never knew real love until they met eachother.
what are the chances this really lasting?

BTW...this is a close family member so it is my business just in case someone wants to advise me to mind my own..afterall this is cafemom and I know how it can get..I just want simple answers nothing rude.

 
wheresthewayout

Asked by wheresthewayout at 1:00 AM on Jan. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 29 (39,885 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I think in very RARE cases it does - but come on.... if he's going to cheat WITH you... he's going to cheat ON you!
    AAAMama

    Answer by AAAMama at 1:04 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I suppose anything is possible. However, considering that each already have a history of lying and violating the trust of the one they loved the most, the probability of them doing it again seems rather high.
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 1:04 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • First of all "support them", sounds like the last thing one would want to do... but when others are against it, it draws them closer together, and as soon as it becomes "no big deal", they have time to reflect, usually falls apart!!!

    "To each their own" is what I usually say, and as long as it wasn't against anyone in my home... I can honestly care less, unless I have to take side in the train wreck... like it looks like you might? And the grass is NEVER greener on the other side, just holds its own set of problems/issues
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 1:29 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Statistically second marriages don't fare as well as 1st time marriages. Add to that, the circumstances of the union and it's probably even worse. When ppl cheat on their spouse and leave their spouse for someone else, this shows that they are willing to "step outside" of their marriage to have their needs met. Only a person of poor character would do that. When someone will cheat with someone who is married, it shows that they are lacking in character also and that they don't value the institution of marriage very well. Then we now have a union of 2 ppl of poor character living together. Not a very good combination, if you ask me.
    etexmom

    Answer by etexmom at 3:01 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • my thoughts are... sure this is the honeymoon phase and they have yet to live together long enough to get into that rut that we all fall into..and isn't that rut what causes some people to cheat and want to find out where the grass is greener
    wheresthewayout

    Comment by wheresthewayout (original poster) at 1:09 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Define "work out." Some people stay together but fight and have a horrid relationship...so even if they stuck it out together but the relationship went sour, they still may say they made it work.

    All cheaters who leave their SO think they are really in love. Someone needs to remind them that that probably thought that the first time around too. All honeymoon phases wear off. All.
    SandyHack

    Answer by SandyHack at 2:19 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I know lots of people who are happily married after having started the relationship with a cheat. I think it's hard, but marriage is hard in a lot of ways --that one's just predictable.

    I think it's very difficult to trust someone you know has cheated, especially if it's cause you helped... and it's very difficult for the cheater to trust themselves or their new partner because s/he knows her/himself to be a cheater and his partner to hold those vows in low esteem.

    I feel it is important to start any relationship unemcumbered by outstanding issues: living partners who are dying, undissolved marriages, still living with an ex-lover, etc. It's just tidier.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 2:50 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • sometimes the grass is greener
    because it is a spetic field

    chances are low that relationship last starts with cheaters will have last lasting healthy relationship
    can happen, but low %
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:31 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Marriage can be one of the hardest challenges, and I agree that they're probably in their honeymoon phase now, every marriage has its issues, there's will too, how do they handle it when things get tough? Hmmm ....
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 9:13 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • If he'll cheat with you; he'll cheat on you
    gulfcoastmom4

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 9:16 AM on Jan. 24, 2011