Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

7 Bumps

If you're thinking about abortion, does the baby father have a say in this, or do you go by "my body, my decision"?


Asked by BeachMom81 at 5:12 AM on Jan. 24, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 21 (11,551 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • It sucks, but no, I think there are too many potential variables to say he should get a say. As a converse to the idea that a woman shouldn't have sex unless she is willing to deal with the consequences, a man should have the forethought to keep it in his pants unless he is willing to deal with the consequences of whatever the woman chooses should she get pregnant. This is true whether that means she aborts or if she keeps the baby.

    Answer by mandaday at 9:47 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • this is a subject I feel strongly about. it's his baby too. he should know and have some input. perhaps he'd make a good single father. perhaps his mom and dad are in good health and financially secure and would like to adopt their natural grandchild.

    there is no reason to not let it be born if there's someone wanting a chance to love that baby.

    Answer by hibbingmom at 5:19 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Unless you were raped, then yes, he should know. You were a willingly participant in the sex that created the life in the first place. The responsible thing to do is share that with the other responsible participant. Why take a life when someone else may want it?

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:31 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • and what about when the tables are turned, and you want to keep the baby but the man wants you to abort?

    do we give him a say so then? "its his baby too"


    Answer by tnm786 at 7:44 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I would definitely tell the father. I would discuss it at length with him, find out where he stands and what he would like for this baby and for our relationship. In the end though, this baby will grow in YOUR body. YOU will have to deal with all the physical changes and everything a pregnancy entails and YOU will have to go through labor. So in all honesty, yes I would take his opinion into consideration but I wouldn't base my decision based on what he wants. It's going to be in your body, not his. But I feel very strongly about TELLING the father, ALWAYS.

    Answer by Marianne140 at 5:35 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I dislike the "It's my body" argument. It seems kinda unfair that a woman can decide to have an abortion without any input from the father. If you had consensual sex, he should have a say as well. It's not like he can say "it's my money and I'm not paying" when it comes time for the woman to file for child support. 


    Answer by layh41407 at 6:24 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • The father has a right and say so in this decision, unless you were raped. If he's willing to be a parent and wants the baby then kudos to him. I am very much against abortions I will say that. Why kill a life, and yes it is already a life it has a heartbeat, when there is adoption. Give a family whom may not be able to have their own children a chance to give it a life that you felt you couldn't. Again, I say he does hae a say in the situation, if you didn't want to risk getting pregnant you should've been more cautious or not been having sex in the first place. But that is just my opinion. Remember, even with protection there's still the risk of getting pregnant! Nothing except abstonence (sp?) is 100% fool proof.

    Answer by MicaMommy2Be at 7:22 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • The only time I really considered abortion, there was NO WAY I would've taken the father's wishes into account. But that was because I was raped. My boyfriend (now husband) said he would stand by me and raise the baby as if it was his but I couldn't do it. Thankfully I didn't end up pregnant. But he also says that he will NEVER give his input on whether I should EVER have an abortion since he is not the one going through the pregnancy.

    Answer by purpleducky at 9:24 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • well, i'm pro-choice. two consenting adult have sex. Just becasue it's a woman's body, that does not give her absolute say if another life is created from her partner. If both want an abortion, that is their chioce. But if one party wants the baby (even if the other party doesn't), then they should have rights to full custody upon birth. If a woman or man do not want a baby, they need to be responsible for their own BC, and understanding that it is not fool-proof too. Sex is a choice. It takes TWO to make that baby, so yes, both parties should have a choice if either want to save the life they created.

    Answer by boobarandbell at 10:43 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I'd consult my DH of course. If I really did not want to continue on with a pregnancy again, he'd support my decision. I know he would. We are done having kids. My pregnancies were horrible, and he is fixed. Who knows what we'd do should something happen, if that were a decision I came to, I know he'd support it. IF he didn't, I'd still make the final call, for yes, it would be my body going through another 9 months, not his.

    Answer by KairisMama at 1:59 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

Next question in Parenting Debate

Next question overall (Pregnancy)
Pregnant again. :(