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Would you call the friend's mom????

My daughter and her bff seem to be drifting apart. They are both in 8th grade and have been inseparable since the beginning of 5th grade. I am friendly with her mom, but I wouldn't say we are "friends". It just seems that the girls don't do anything together anymore and I don't know why. They have one class together and do see each other. The friend does have a friend in another town who she met at camp so maybe she spends more time with her. I also think she has a boyfriend. I know it is a possibility that she will go to private school next year so maybe her mom wants her to become less dependant on her friends at this school. They only live around the corner so it's not like they wouldn't see each other. My daughter does have other friends so that's not the issue. This just bugs me for some reason. Would you call the mom or just wait and see what happens?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:54 AM on Jan. 24, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (19)
  • It is very typical at this age for kids to drift away from elementary school friends and develop new friends who share more of their middle school interests. Don't call the girl's mother. Let your daughter develop her own friendships.

    Answer by Marwill at 7:56 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • friends do drift apart. if your daughter doesnt want to talk about it you need to let it go.

    Answer by stressedoutgran at 7:57 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • It is normal for friends to drift apart. If it really bothers your daughter then I would encourage her to invite the friend over or set up 'fun days' for the girls to go and do things together. Who knows maybe next year they might have more classes together and be close friends again.

    Answer by MizLee at 8:01 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I would NOT call the girl's mother. Friends come and go, and if it doesn't bother your DD, then let it go.

    Answer by DMac08 at 8:09 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I wouldn't call the other mom; friends come and go, especially at that age.

    Answer by Scuba at 8:10 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Its part of growing up and finding friends who have more things in common and such. If your daughter is ok with there drifting apart then I would just leave it alone.

    Answer by jdbrown21 at 8:10 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • i'd stay out of it. your daughter will need to learn people will drift in and out of her life and its not the end of the world. even if you called the mother, she cannot control her own daughters decisions on this.

    Answer by lillie70 at 8:15 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • As others have said, this is normal. As much as we'd like to pick and choose our children's friends, we just can't. My husband and I were just having this conversation yesterday morning about my son and his friend, and we agreed that we just have to let the friendship take it's natural course, even though we really like the core group of kids he's hanging out with. Talk to your daughter, conversationally, and ask her if she knows what happened. If she's okay with where the friendship stands, let it be. If it's something that bothers her too, this is a learning/teaching opportunity, give her some advice on how to jumpstart the friendship again, and let her be the one in control.

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 8:25 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I dont remember staying friends with the same people I was friends with in middle school. I think its normal for both of them to drift apart. It is a part of growing up. I wouldnt call the mom. If you are concerned about her child then maybe? But otherwise just let nature take its course.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:34 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • No. Don't call the mother. You can certainly have a gentle conversation with your child about it, to gauge her feelings on the matter, but this is very typical. Did you not drift in and out of even the best friendships as a girl? Bringing it up with your own child gives her a chance to vent any frustrations and/or to ease your mind about it and it also helps her learn to handle any difficulties and frustrations for herself. Your stepping in would be inappropriate and not helpful in a number of situations.

    Answer by misses_nick at 8:47 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

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