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4 Bumps

spin off of earlier abortion question: the man and his "say so"

earlier a question was asked, if you were considering abortion and the father didn't want you to, should he have a say so or is it the woman's decision?

alot of women (mostly pro-life i am assuming) said yes, the man should have rights and his opinion should count. it's his baby too.

well it got me thinking, what if the situation is reversed? what if you want to keep your baby, and he wants you to abort it? does his say so count for anything now?

i am very pro-choice so i believe either way it's up to her.

please try to keep this civil. no need to bash me because im pro-choice just as i wont bash you because you're pro-life. im simply trying to understand the logic in how the man's opinion only matters when he wants to keep the baby.

btw.. this isn't really religious (it doesnt have to be anyway but i know it will turn that eventually) or parenting (not quite anyway) so i didnt know what category to put this in.


Asked by tnm786 at 10:11 AM on Jan. 24, 2011 in Politics & Current Events

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (29)
  • I think if EITHER of the parents wants the baby and is willing to raise it then the woman should not be able to get an abortion. However I appreciate that women sometimes do not know who or where the father is and it would be difficult to regiment. As well as the fact of some fathers/mothers not being fit to care for a child, so there would also have to be a careful vetting process. The process in place right now is pretty much the only sustainable one I think but I still think that even though it is not the law to get the father's consent that you should consult and discuss it with him. The baby is half and half. That baby is not purely the mothers, the baby belongs to the mother and the father. Just because the child has to develop in her uterus does not make it solely her possession. I feel some vote downs coming but I don't care today for some reason!

    Answer by leah_rai at 10:17 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • IMO, I say no to a man getting the final decision. Sorry, this is strictly biologically speaking. Until 23 weeks post conception, a developing fetus can not survive without its mother-her womb, the placenta, the umbilical cord, the mother's intake and other vital organs that take in needed O2 and  other nutrients as well as, clear Co2 and filter other wastes. A human man can NOT provide this developing and DEPENDENT being with those vital life sources. A man does not get to decide what happens to another's body. No thank you with that precedent...think about the possibilities.

    If you do not want a child, use BC as directed with each and act. In addition, if your family is complete, maybe a more permanent option is appropriate-


    Answer by Sisteract at 10:33 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Until men can grow a uterus, vagina, ovaries, and carry a pregnancy to term they are entitled to their opinion... but their "rights" end where her uterus begins.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 10:59 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • As cruel and harsh as this may sound- since he isn't the one going through the process of being pregnant and giving birth- basically sacrificing their own body for this new life- I don't feel he really has much say. Yes, his opinion and feeling should very much be taken into consideration and the situation should handled appropriately whatever his feelings.

    But how cruel would it be if she really didn't want the baby and he did if she was forced to be an incubator for 9 months of pain, discomfort and life style change just because he wanted the baby? I think putting a woman in a situation like that is treating her like an appliance- one that delivers babies.

    Answer by meandrphoto at 10:26 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Ultimately , its the woman's choice because she is the one that will have to physically carry and deliver the baby with all the emotional and financial & medical situations that come with it.

    It would be great if she were to take that in consideration, but it is her choice.

    On the flip side, if men carried babies, you think they'd give a damn if he wanted to abort and the woman asked him to keep the baby? I'm thinking NOT,,,,,if it were going to impede his career?


    Answer by sweet-a-kins at 10:27 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Kittie what about it? This is about a woman's reproductive rights. Giving rights to an inviable fetus/baby, takes away a womans right to make her own medical decision. I don't favor that myself. How can we guarantee that potential baby WANTS to be born anyway? Honestly this can go BOTH ways.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:31 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I do think he should have a say in the matter. If he doesn't want the child and she has it anyway he will pay child support for the child whether he wants to or not, why shouldn 't he have a say? I realize it is a woman's body, but no matter how you look at it there IS a life inside her.

    I think if there is a situation where one party wants the child and the other doesn't the party wanting the child..male or female should prevail. I am prolife and I feel LIFE should prevail.

    Answer by yourspecialkid at 10:20 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • IMO, if you want to keep the baby and the man wants you to abort, it's still the woman's decision. My difficulty in this situation is the level of responsibility the man should have to take. I'm truly torn - what if the woman said she was on birth control and lied? What if she knew going into the relationship that he didn't want to have kids? I guess every situation is different, but if I were in that position I would assume that the "father" would play no role (physical or financial) in my child's life, he/she would be 100% my responsibility.

    Answer by Scuba at 10:23 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I believe that the mans thoughts, feelings, and wants should be taken into account regardless of what he wants.  Either parent has the choice to step out of the situation if they don't want the baby.  If the man doesn't want to pay child support, he can sign his rights to that child away.  Same thing for the mother.  I wouldn't agree with having an abortion but would I jeopardize the life I have now with my children that are already here if my husband said to abort.  Hmmm.  Not too sure about that one.  Luckily, he would never do that.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 10:24 AM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • As the mom of only one boy - this kinda breaks my heart... but it is totally up to the woman because men cannot be pregnant. If a woman has their baby, they then have parental rights - but men deserve no say on her care while preggo === what if she was sick from teh pregnancy - like i had hellp syndrome with the first. should my husband have had the right to tell me to risk dying and stay preggo past 35 weeks= no! if you give them the right to decide if they get aborted - they then also have the right to make choices about prenatal care. that is not good~

    Answer by AmaliaD at 10:59 AM on Jan. 24, 2011