So far, my son only has the manipulative type of tantrums occasionally, and the traditional advice of ignoring those and not giving in usually work well for that type of tantrum. He's about 2 1/2 years old. He usually does well with time outs or distraction if he misbehaves (as long as he's not already emotionally flooded), and he's usually well mannered--good about saying please, thank you, you're welcome, etc.
More often he has spillover tantrums--he justs gets emotionally flooded and has trouble calming himself down. We've been practicing some calming and relaxation techniques and that has helped some, but he still has them and you never know what's going to set it off or how long it's going to last. He may just be upset that his food wasn't cut the right way or he was given a different cup than expected--just little stuff like that can set him crying for 30-45 minutes or more and no amount of comforting seems to help sometimes. He's a very intense, sensitive, 'spirited' child (I have the Raising Your Spirited Child book and that has been very helpful). Prevention--making sure he's not too tired or hungry, sticking to a routine as much as possible, and advance warning before transitions or doing out of the ordinary stuff all help some.
Just wondering if anyone else has really intense kids who have these kind tantrums more often than manipulative ones, and if you have any coping techniques to help them get past it. And what age did it start to get better or are they still just as intense as older kids?
Answer by samurai_chica at 10:52 AM on Jan. 24, 2011
We did have a problem with this. Before my son could put his feelings into words, he got very frustrated. He'd try to say something, couldn't find the words, he'd break down. I bought books and started showing him videos of feelings and explaining them. Instead of punishing I would sit him down, wait until he relaxed, and try to find out what was making him upset. At one point before then he even would bang his head against the wall, stutter, and not make any sense. The books, videos, and talking seriously helped. Within a month of this starting, it ended. Good luck mama!
Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 10:40 AM on Jan. 24, 2011