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24 Bumps

Help please! WITS END, about to kick my sd out!

Need advice please. My sd is almost 17 (in 4 months). She was held back so won't graduate till she's 19. We've had custody since she was 13. Her mom is unstable and in and out of picture. I cannot live with my sd anymore! She spreads very vicious lies and gossip about us, is mean to my 4 younger kids, she steals from all of us. She treats me like dog crap and I just can't take it anymore, dh agrees. I called her mom and asked if she would take her ( I feel horrible about that but like I said, wits end, please don't bash) Her mom doesn't even want to deal with her drama! She said her home is peaceful and she doesn't know if she wants to deal with sd. I told her, you're her mom, she needs you! She takes all her anger for her mom out on me even though I've been a part of her life since she was a tiny girl. She is basically abusive to me. Idk what to do please help. Her dad is to the point he just wants to kick her out. We lovingly told her, if you can't obey our rules, you cannot live here...Please Bump!! Love ya cafemoms!


Asked by JackieGirl007 at 12:32 PM on Jan. 24, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 35 (73,191 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (57)
  • Ground her.. Take stuff she like away from her. If that dosen't work than do u believe in a old school beat down. She's your child and lives in your house make her respect you. Stop letting your kids talk to you any kind of way. Thats make u a bad parent. i wish my son would disrespect me any kind of way when they get older. I swear I would beat them down. I'm not saying hit them with objects but, shout at them and use would u know that will get there attention. But, show no fear.. Good luck

    Answer by successful24 at 1:15 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • teen boot camp!

    Answer by usdragonflies at 12:36 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Counceling.  That's the only thing that I can suggest.  Hugs to you!


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 12:33 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • If you kick her out, chances are she won't graduate. I'd look into a military style school.

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 12:49 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Look in to residential treatment. As a previous counselor at one for teenage girls, we saw this type of thing a lot. Basically, you have a very lost, scared, and confused teenager...I know it doesn't look like it because she is mean and verbally abusive, but anger is just a mask for fear. Just what you've said about her mother alone is enough to make me know this. How horrible to be a teenager and feel (or KNOW) that your own mom doesn't want you?

    I know, I know, I'm not in your shoes and I don't live with your teen, and I truly believe you are at your wits end. I would be too. But she isn't intrinsically evil...she just in pain. Counseling is for the birds...any smart teenager can run circles around a counselor one hour a week. See if residential treatment can help...I'm praying for her - I'm sure she hurts.

    Answer by SandyHack at 12:58 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • i think 4 months of boot camp is better than nothing! sorry you are dealing with this, it sounds very tough.

    Answer by pookipoo at 4:47 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I will bump you. I had a ss move in with us at the age of 13 till he graduated high school, the mom felt the same way. Im sorry you are going through this. If you cant get anyone else to go to counseling with you, you go by yourself. Good luck

    Answer by beyondhopes at 12:36 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Well you can't legally kick her out. Since you've tried counseling, I agree with a previous poster about boot camp.


    Answer by Christine0813 at 12:49 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I think oyu need to get a new counselor. The one she has obviously isn't working. At least they don't believe her when she lies.... It sounds more like a problem she has in general than one with you. Just love her and make it obvious that you love her.

    Answer by Robbiesmommy83 at 12:49 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Boot camp

    Answer by MKSers at 12:56 PM on Jan. 24, 2011