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Religious Abuse

 Please READ THE ARTICLE before making rash, uninformed, blanket statements using circular reasoning :)

Any interesting insights to share?

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ObbyDobbie

Asked by ObbyDobbie at 12:38 PM on Jan. 24, 2011 in Religious Debate

Level 34 (70,074 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • I was a victim... years ago... however I came to a realization that God is not the blame... people who administer the abuse are. I have forgiven and walked forward. My ex husband has not.
    The church I attend have many spiritually abused now recovering attendees. The key is realizing that God did not cause this, peoples choices did. Once you grasp that you can recover. I know many people who have gone through stuff and have recovered and love Jesus and have had radical encounters with Him. They also are seeing how God truly sees them. Loved, precious, amazing and beautiful. All those help the healing process!
    It is sad that people use religion to be controlling over the flock.
    I have read several books on recovering from religious/spiritual abuse and the main key is forgiveness.
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 12:48 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I was actually interested to read your response, knowing the bit that I do about your past.

    ObbyDobbie

    Comment by ObbyDobbie (original poster) at 1:10 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • the main key is forgiveness--

    nothing circular about that!
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 1:10 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I have a mixed reaction to that. If he were truly sincere, it would be admirable to be interested in acknowledging and helping people who have been victimized in the name of religion. If, however, his goal is to sell books and save enough souls to get that fancy set of steak knives, I don't see how he's any better than the people he's writing about. If someone is naturally more comfortable being a Christian, by all means, help them. But it sounds more like a different flavor of abuse - like the pair of abusers who play good cop, bad cop - that bad pastor hurt you, but I won't, you can trust me...wink wink, nudge nudge.

    Upon further reflection, it's sad that things have gotten to that point that it's not easy at all to just take it at face value immediately, and that isolating what the catch was came to mind before the article was half way through.
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 1:10 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Dull- That was unnecessary. Though I often do not agree with the POVs which Shane presents, I was genuinely interested to see the response this would draw from all sides. Frankly, I've come to respect her. Just like I do NP, and I don't think there is anything outside of critical thinking which we actually agree on!
    In the future, when you can clearly see genuine curiosity, could you please keep your snark to yourself?
    ObbyDobbie

    Comment by ObbyDobbie (original poster) at 1:16 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • @ NP, I had much the same reaction... There were a couple of other articles which were interestingly more "genuine", but I know I'm not up to a snark fest if I post them. Detoxing from cymbalta (which, if anyone is ever prescribed for nerve pain, they shouldn't take!! ever!!) and I feel like my brain has been put through a blender.
    ObbyDobbie

    Comment by ObbyDobbie (original poster) at 1:19 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • what snark? that was my answer, in agreement with shane. geez..get over it!
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 1:29 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I think we have another person trying to make money off of someone trying to solve their problems and find a way to deal with what they have gone through.....just my opinion.....like NP said...not to sincere. Now if this helps people then that is great and i am glad that they got the help they needed....but there is just something about this that im not to sure about and i cant put my finger on it yet....

    Shaneagle....i am sorry that you went through that...Im glad you were able to find a way to deal and overcome what happened.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 1:35 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Having also been through that, I can tell you honestly, I'm not mad at God

    I'm mad at the church. And the thought of forgiveness is all well and good. I've forgiven my mother. I even let her see her grandchildren under close supervision. I make small talk. I don't hate her. But I also don't love her.

    God had nothing to do with what happened to me. That was man. That was evil. That was...wrong. That guy wants my 21.95 to tell me what I could get from any twelve step program for free.

    It wasn't my fault. It was my mothers. And my father's, for letting her. It was the church's, for not only knowing it, but encouraging it. And we went to many more than one.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 2:02 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • It makes me think of the book I'm reading now, Spiritual Terrorism: Spiritual Abuse From the Womb to the Tomb. Though I don't really connect to the article or the author's tone throughout it (something about it just rubs me the wrong way), I do recognize that its a terrible problem. The book I'm reading actually goes into it a lot better, I think. Its really good, and touches on the many different ways people spiritually abuse or terrorize others, even if its not intended to be abuse or terrorizing. I do get the feeling that the person who authored this article isn't as sincere as the one who authored the book I'm reading (for instance, the book doesn't try to push a recovery method, it merely tries to address the problem). I don't know - again, something about the article just didn't feel sincere to me. I do agree, though, that spiritual abuse is a BIG problem, and I'm very thankful I've never actually been subjected to it.
    bandgeek521

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 2:51 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

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