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I love how when you decide to separate or divorce you get sided "input" from others

My husband and I recently separated, looks like it will end in divorce. Of course many close friends and family have told me to walk away now, before it gets worse....since they have seen how it's been the last year. Then there's the friends from church and outside parts of life, who, bless their hearts, tell me we should work it out for the sake of the children. But they don't know the whole story, nor do I need to disclose negative parts to outside friends. But why stay together when there obviously isn't much chance either of us will be kind or in love with each other again? I'm sticking to my guns though, and not staying with a man just because he is the father to my babies. He should have thought of them before making the choices he made!

 
2BlondeBabies

Asked by 2BlondeBabies at 2:11 PM on Jan. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 25 (23,069 Credits)
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Answers (9)
  • Do what is best for your children and YOU. It is NEVER a good idea to stay together just for the children.
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 2:14 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I have been divorced for 4 yrs and my dd's friends mom told me recently she would pray for me and ex to get back together. I told her not to pray for that! lol Stick to your guns no matter what people say and good luck
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 2:15 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Yes every one has their oppinions in your break up. I think you are gdoing the right thing for you and your kids. You should be happy.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:15 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • you have to do whats best for you and your kids. depending on your situation sometimes staying together "for the kids" hurts them more than splitting up would. (if there is a lot of fighting and conflict around them.)
    HappyEndings

    Answer by HappyEndings at 2:16 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • only you can make decisions that will affect you and your family. my guess is 'outsiders' only want what they think is best..meaning they aren't comfortable with the hard truth of what actually is going on, and don't like the idea of any family splitting up. its like a death, in a way, and no one likes death.
    give them a break, op. they don't know what else to say, and would you really want any and everyone to know the whole truth? just say thanks, and if you welcome their prayers, then say so. you may not want the same thing as they suggest, but you can always tell them to keep praying for you and your kids.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 2:19 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I don't care what anyone says I do what's best for myself and my kids.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 2:21 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • My divorce has been finalized and when this began.. I got the oh its gonna be so bad spiel... and Im like its only bad if you make it that was. My divorce was very ammicable and Im still living at the house until I get a place to live. Divorces can go smoothly if you want it to.
    Yes I got the sided talks too but fortunately many of my friends are loving Christians who prayed for me through it and I refuse to bad mouth my ex ect. It is a lot less pressure and makes things go smoother.
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 2:26 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I went through the whole 'everyone has an opinion on what I should be doing' thing when I filed for divorce. Be comfy with your decisions and know that you can sleep at night more peacefully and still make a good life for you and your child/ren. That's all you need and learn to tell people that you're happy and you feel you made the right decisions and that you appreciate their advice, but you're ok.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 4:18 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • well it takes two to tango so whatever the problems you have with him im sure he has some of his own RE: you. but many ppl tell you things because maybe they have been thru them before and already know whats gonna happen to you and your situation ( or somethin' similar )
    mistik75

    Answer by mistik75 at 2:30 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

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