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Toddler out of control HELP!!!!

my son is 2 1/2 years old and since his dad left for iraq he is out of control. I cant get him to mind me or stop throwing things me. he wakes up at night like four times and just screams he doesn't like to eat much anymore and hits like crazy, pushes his sister down it all seems like normal 2 year old stuff I am sure but from 6 am till about 9 he never stops to sit at all he just runs all over screaming and getting on the counters and banging his head he throws heavy things at me when I walk up the stairs to his room to get him up his doctor actually thinks he is adhd but says they dont put them on meds till 5 any advice please I am loosing it!

 
soldierswife11

Asked by soldierswife11 at 1:13 AM on Nov. 14, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (9)
  • cont......you'll go to time out". Be firm, get down to his eye level and carry out the time out. Also, something that really works is a House Rules list. List what the house rules are....no hitting, no screaming, no throwing toys, be kind to one another.....when he violates the house rules take him to the chart (list) and tell him "the House Rules say you may not hit your sister, now you'll have to go to time out". One minute for every year age. Sit with him and give him tons of reasurrance. Seperation anxiety is hard for children to understand. They need extra but not at the expense of discipline. I tell my boys that it's okay to be angry, it is never okay to be violent in your anger. I am sending you hugs, your hubby fighting for our freedom and nations safety is a great sacrafice for you and I thank you and hubby for that! You deserve my honor and respect and prayers!
    blessed5x

    Answer by blessed5x at 9:15 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • This is not normal 2 year old stuff. It probably isn't ADHD either. It is acting out and aggression as the only way he knows of to deal with his dad being gone. He doesn't understand why his dad left him - and that's how he sees it - his dad left him. He needs help. Contact the base and see what programs for kids there are. If they don't help, contact a CHILD psychologist. Not a regular one, not an army one. Someone who works with kids.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 1:21 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I think he is acting out because daddy is gone. Everything is about the war these days and its hard being a wife to a soldier and not watch the news. They did a study that kids whose parents were over in Iraq and the mom or dad would wathc the news and the news would be all about bombings. The kids acted out and were stressed out. Being that he is 2/12 he doesn't know how to express his feelings and insecurites. He is missing daddy and doesn't understand why he couldn't stay yhome and be with him. That would be my guess. I would cut out all talk of the war when he is around and not watch any news pertaining to Iraq when he is around. Also try having him carry a picture of his dad around with him. I heard that it works and helps ALOT...Good Luck!
    nyteowl

    Answer by nyteowl at 1:53 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • My 2yr old is similar. He throws, sometimes hits, won't do one single thing that I ask him to. EVERYTHING is a battle.....From morning, til night he's NON-STOP, jumping, bouncing, climbing, screaming, etc. At night, he wakes up several times, and I have to cuddle him back to sleep. I do think that some of it is normal and the violent stuff may just be a phase or a reaction to what he sees on TV. I'm sure that he misses his daddy terribly and is showing his feelings in the only way a little boy knows how......or he's just a super rambunctious, full of energy, stubborn little guy with a mind of his own. Our doc suggested, which is to get him outside as much as possible, and/or give him things to do that may be new to him, like drawing or finger paints (in his highchair). She also said to cut back on juice and excessive sweets. And finally...TONS of love and possitive reinforcement. I wish you and your family the best.
    Raegy

    Answer by Raegy at 2:12 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I agree. It sounds like terrible twos. At 2 a child is testing thier boundaries. Finding their independence. Most 2 year olds act this way. At least for a short time. Once thier parents get a handle on it and learn techniques and such on how to stop the negative behavior your life and his will go much smoother.
    gdnrs

    Answer by gdnrs at 2:16 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Its rough enough to be a 2year old with all of the rules that have to be followed and lessons to be learned, as well as not understanding at least 50% of the world around him. You are probably more stressed since Dad not around and so is he. Try doing some one on one mommy time, turn his favorite activity into a reward for good behavior. And try to help him understand what he is feeling "I know that you feel upset about...it makes mommy feel sad too when you hit me" Then show him a way to show his frustration non aggressively. Some suggestions given to me once before.Good Luck!
    love2bemommy03

    Answer by love2bemommy03 at 2:19 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • it sounds like to me a mixture of two things,the terrible twos which is normal at this age they get fustrated easily and dont understand whats happening to there body and he is acting out and fustrated that his daddy isnt there,also i suggest some foods that they eat can also make them do things,try cutting some sugar content down and see what foods make him act differently,with the two things i mentioned ontop of foods his body is on over load and he cant handle it for his little body.i hope this has helped you and feel more at ease.my son went through the same thing and found it was a mixture of these things,this has helped my son aged 2

    cruizymum

    Answer by cruizymum at 3:02 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • He's acting out....I'd say because of seperation anxiety. BE CONSISTANT WITH DISCIPLINE. It is SO hard for us Mom's to not make excuses for our children's behavior when they are going through a transition or a "traumatic" time. Use the time out technique. When administered correctly it works amazingly! This takes extreme amount of patience, grace and tenacity! It does work though. Let him know what is acceptable behavior and what isn't. Acknowledge his emotions though. "Johnny (whatever his name is) I understand that you are frustrated however, you may not scream (whatever the offense is) and this is your warning if you do that again, cont....
    blessed5x

    Answer by blessed5x at 9:14 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Well said blessed5x.

    *Applaudes*
    PinkSodaPop

    Answer by PinkSodaPop at 9:25 AM on Nov. 14, 2008