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being a good christian friend.

I know nobody wants to hear constructive criticism. I have a cousin/close friend we have been through so much together. She has a son 15 who put a bomb threat in the school bathroom he was expelled a few months and has court wednesday.

Saturday night he asked at 10:30 to go out with his 18 year old friend his mom said yes at 1:30 am the sherrif was at her door. His friend was arressted and so was he for having paraphenalia and he admited to smoking pot.

Im thinking in my head while she is telling me this what the heck did you let him go out for with an adult among other things.

I know she is going through alot with cancer a year ago a divorce and having to live with family. Should I let her know how she is parenting isnt good or just shut up.?

Her child has no responsibility, yet has a cell phone, ipad , all the current gaming systems.

 
okmommy08

Asked by okmommy08 at 2:54 PM on Jan. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,080 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I think you should tell her the truth, but be prepared for her not to like it, to get mad at you, and maybe even stop being your friend. Even knowing all the risks, I would tell her.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:56 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • What, if anything at all, does this have to do with religion?
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:02 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Well, if I were to say anything, it sure wouldn't be that "her parenting isn't good". Kids have minds of their own. She may be doing all that she can. He is going to do whatever he wants no matter what she says or does. Don't blame her for his actions.

    If you feel the need to say something, offer her another approach on how to deal w/him. You said she is recently divorced & had cancer. Offer to help her w/other things so she can focus more on her son.
    cheekycherub

    Answer by cheekycherub at 3:05 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • most mothers dont want to hear that theyre not doing a good job raising their child..so your friend might get offended next time she complains aobut her son maybe gently suggest another option and see if she takes ur advice.. like they say you cna lead a horse to water..
    zperez0809

    Answer by zperez0809 at 3:00 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • obbydobbie basically I just wanted advice from other christian moms so I put it under religion.
    okmommy08

    Comment by okmommy08 (original poster) at 3:13 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I wouldn't say "your parenting sucks" or anything like that. I would maybe suggest things when given the opportunity, like when she is complaining about his behavior. There is a fine line with extending unsolicited parenting advice. If you are a true friend, you would just as concerned about not hurting her feelings as well as helping her.
    BTW, I'm an atheist....if that matters to you.
    sahmamax2

    Answer by sahmamax2 at 3:39 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

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