Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

I guess I asked to much

My boyfriend and I are no longer together I will be raising my twins on my own.....all i wanted was for him to show me some affection...im 17 and im goin to be raising Daniel and Charlie on my own=(

Answer Question
 
ImHavingTwinz

Asked by ImHavingTwinz at 3:20 PM on Jan. 24, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 5 (74 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • im so sorry to hear this... some men are pigs.. i hope you have a good support group around you... just have confidence in yourself as a mom and be the best mom to those 2 little boys! good luck !
    zperez0809

    Answer by zperez0809 at 3:21 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • There is nothing wrong with needing affection.  And you might have to DO things alone, you are never actually alone with places like Cafemom in existence.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 3:22 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I'm sorry, but honestly you're better off without someone who will just up and leave on you and your children. Trust me. You'll be a great mother and you can do this, if he's that much of a waste of space I doubt he'd have provided much help any way.
    leah_rai

    Answer by leah_rai at 3:22 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • So sorry but YOU CAN DO THIS especially with the love and supportof your family and friends... dont second guess yourself! BE STRONG MAMA!
    rebeccadac

    Answer by rebeccadac at 3:23 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • You will get A LOT of affection when the twins are born. Hang in there.
    BeachMom81

    Answer by BeachMom81 at 3:25 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • hugs Im sorry this happened to you. You will be better off without him. Be strong for your babies! You will do just great, dont let some asshole bring you down!

    leksismommy

    Answer by leksismommy at 3:26 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Yes, you did ask for too much.

    People often do not see how other people communicate --because it's not how they think. So, while your boyfriend was busy doing what he thought of as 'being there' or 'being loving' you dismissed it because it's not how you see or hear either.

    What you may not have realized is that you insulted him tremendously by telling him that his feelings for you were inadequate. Men don't much like feeling inadequate and they have little time for the folks who help them feel that way.

    What you could have said was, 'I really love it when you hug me, it's touching you that helps me feel your affection for me.' Instead of 'you're not affectionate enough' which is, trust me, completely meaningless to most women and all men.

    It helps to be really specific about what you want, even if what you want is sex. Or, perhaps, especially if what you want is sex.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 3:27 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • You definatly didn't ask or expect too much. Some guys are jerks- simple as that. I don't understand how someone can leave or abandon their child(ren). Don't worry someone will come along that will love you and your boys. I know its hard being a single mom. If you need to talk we are here. You can also friend me. Good luck. Keep those expectations high and standards high. You will find someone
    MamaWolf1981

    Answer by MamaWolf1981 at 3:36 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • are you kidding linda? She did ask to much? Sorry but no honey you didnt ask for to much. Hes a jerk if he would just walk out on you like that while your having twins. Your better off with out him if hes that childish. Just stay strong and you will do great you just be the best mommy you can to those wounderfull little boys. I hope you have lots of family and friends who will be there to help you out. Congrats on your little ones.
    Jaxsmommy09

    Answer by Jaxsmommy09 at 3:37 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • No, you didn't ask too much. if you're 17, i assume your boyfriend is about the same age? Most Boys that age are totally selfish. Give it some time and he might just come back around to his senses. You wil be fine. Just be stong and focus on your boys. You are young and there are plenty of fish in the sea.
    carolinagirl075

    Answer by carolinagirl075 at 8:22 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.