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why does our daughter cry when my husband holds her?

He picks her up and she is most often automatically displeased like she doesn't know him. she will scream and cry for as long as it takes for him to hand her off or put her down, but once she is put down she screams harder. I do not have this problem. she is instantly quiet when i get her. I really need some help with this. My husband is very distraught about this.

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Varie21

Asked by Varie21 at 1:50 AM on Nov. 14, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (7)
  • I think that your husband might be nervous,is this his first child. sometimes baby can sense the tension. If so he needs to relax and give the baby positive warm loving embrace when he holds the baby. I used to have that problem with baby until my sister told me the baby can sense that i am not motherly,when i lighten up kids started loving me like a magnet.
    GIGi570

    Answer by GIGi570 at 1:59 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • did just shave or get a new haircut? or has a cold. sometimes different changes can confuse a baby. let him hold her, and just keep talking to her, rub her back, head and arms etc. let her know who he is and that it is her daddy.
    Mrs.Jane

    Answer by Mrs.Jane at 2:47 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Tell him to relax. This is normal and means NOTHING. In a few months it will be all daddy all the time.

    For now, he's a big hairy scary creature with a booming voice who is definitely Not The Momma. Doesn't mean baby won't love him.

    My son couldn't stand to be with his father for nearly his whole first year. But ever since then...it's the Dad Show. I'm chopped liver and have been for the past eight years. If they didn't need laundry done, I'm fairly certain they could do without me. **grin**
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:05 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • dont worry this is normal and will ease in time,the more your husband is relaxed the better baby will be,babys and children sense good and bad vibes and this normal,get your husband to relax completely before holding her and dont put her down,at the moment all baby is more usesd to mummy and my kids done the same thing,just a little paitence and being calm,baby will understand that oh mummy isnt the only one who cares for me its my daddy too,being calm and talking in a lower voice will help and calm and soothe baby.if your husband is calm the more baby will be,get him to walk her around and get baby used to his smell,tell your husband that not to be afraid of dropping baby,this is normal for fathers too feel and they tense up.baby will scream and holla untill he puts her down.the more he does it and get him to involed with baby play,feed time and bedtime,this will also help and help you take a break

    cruizymum

    Answer by cruizymum at 3:37 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Wow, thank you all for your advice. It is really helpful. I am so relieved to know that this is a common issue. It is really hard on him. he thinks she hates him. We had a big fight about it. :( I will try to do these things. i will update you on how it went.... thanks again.
    Varie21

    Answer by Varie21 at 4:45 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I am currently experiencing the same thing. Mommy is all my baby wants- even if I'm sitting or standing directly next to my hubby she cries like mad and grabs for me. :( It hurts my husbands feelings, and I tell him all the time its normal. Its good to know I'm not alone.
    ZoeKatsMom

    Answer by ZoeKatsMom at 9:24 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Does he wear hats? My baby girl FREAKS out when I wear a hat, and she's 6 months!
    Just make sure he keeps holding her, maybe for short periods of time or try holding her while sitting close to him... How old is your baby?
    LovinMyMikayla

    Answer by LovinMyMikayla at 6:52 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

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