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Do you call your hubby on it when he underminds you with the kids?

If he says things like I didn't know you told them no or I dont think you should have told them no, so I let them do it anyway? This is a big problem in my home. Mostly, I just let it go but it starting to effect our marriage and quite frankly my self esteem. I feel terrible that the oldest child only should be allowed to do whatever she wants at my expense. I also feel like Im just a live in nanny here to accomadate him and his little princess whenever he needs me. I honestly just feel disrespected and like nothing I do or say matters. Its to the point that its affecting my children also.

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gdnrs

Asked by gdnrs at 1:59 AM on Nov. 14, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 7 (174 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • i call my hubby on it every time - he doesn't want me undermining him - has to be an equal deal - i think a lot of hubbies just want to be the final word - but sorry, just doesn't work that way - not in this day and age - and, yes, we argue about it ALL the time too

    AndreaRUJuiced

    Answer by AndreaRUJuiced at 2:05 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • yes, he does not do it really at all anymore.
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 2:20 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • My DH is pretty good but the few times he's said IN FRONT OF THE KIDS, did you have to be so harsh I will let him know righ then you're wrong for that and never ever try to correct me in front of the kids take me to the side later or at that moment away from the kids but NEVER infront of the kids and he gets it thankfully he apologizes or at least I keep grilling him until he does lol. I know it's a bad thing for kids to feel like they can pit parents against each other. We need to be a united front so letting them know it's not OK is a good thing.
    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 2:52 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • You and him need to have a "come to Jesus" meeting. If youve never heard that term, its another name for a very serious sit down chat. You have GOT to get on the same page or this child will play you like a fiddle. I know how it feels to be disrespected in the home. My hubby always backs me up, but hes not always here. Once you and him agree on a plan, then stand firm with the children. They will get in the middle, destroy your marriage and cause big resentment. He needs to know how you feel. We usually get alone, agree on a plan or how we are going to handle a situation and then back one another up. Its the only way to parent. You will have unruly kids if you dont. Best wishes.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:09 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

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