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2 Bumps

she wants her husband to get out of child support so they can have a baby?

I am a single mom of a 3 year old little girl. I go to school full time and I work as a waitress at Hooters (no bashing please, this is the best way I can make enough money without putting my dd in daycare 5 days a week). Anyway, I work 2 nights a week from 6 till close, this is all the hours I can get right now. What I make covers the bills and the things we need but not much else. Then I get child support $425 a month and that is where our extras come in. Well my dd came home yesterday from her visit with her dad (one sat a month which was all he wanted) saying that her new sm couldn't have a baby because they have to give me too much money so they can't afford one. I called my ex to find out what was really said because he makes good money, there is not reason they can't afford a baby on what he makes even while paying child support. When I asked my ex he said that his wife couldn't get pregnant naturally so they would have to IVF, which is really expensive and they had already done 4 rounds that didn't work and they are out of money now. At this point his wife snatches the phone from him and starts yelling at me saying that if I wasn't so greedy, she could have a baby. I would like to point out that she doesn't even work. Well my ex got back on the phone and said that she is just very upset about it and could he call back later. I felt bad for her and I said I understood and that would be fine to call later. Anyway, about an hour later and says that she wants me to give up child support so that they can do another round of IVF. I told her that I am sorry but I need the child support to get by and that as her father, he owes it. She lost her temper on me saying that I am just greedy and I want baby mama support. So I hung up on her and called my ex's cell phone. I told him that he needs to deal with her and under NO circumstances should child support be discussed with or in front of my dd. I dont' think that it was right to even ask me to give up the child support. This is money he pays for his child and she wants me to stop taking it so that they can have another?? Oh BTW, it is court ordered child support. I am angry that she would even ask. Am I right? I mean we could get by without the child support but we would have no extras .


Asked by Anonymous at 6:55 PM on Jan. 24, 2011 in Parenting Debate

This question is closed.
Answers (16)

  • Sorry but we don't leave the responsibility of our other children just because the new wife wants a baby. That's really crappy. I'd love to hear what the judge in family court would have to say to them.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 6:57 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • You are absolutely right. Your daughter is entitled to child support, and no one should be discussing this in front of her. You aren't being greedy, she's being self-centered...if they need more money to have IVF, then she should get a job. She can always quit later. She knew he had a daughter and child support to pay before he married her, now she needs to live her life accordingly.

    Good Luck, and I'm very sorry you have to deal with this.

    Answer by ohwrite at 6:59 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • LOL what a joke. You can't remove a child from the home for working at Hooters! It's a legitamate job. You aren't a prostitute. They sound desparate. I see why he's your ex.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 7:01 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • You are very right! I would not send my child over there if her so called SM is going to talk like that to here. Your child is his child to and has every right to have that money. I she wants a baby so bad tell her to get a better job and pay for it.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 6:58 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • They wont take her away because you work a Hooters. Best of luck to you it just sounds like you have a crazy step mom who is jealous that she can't have a baby and you did. Tell you ex he needs monitor what is said around your daughter because it does effect her. GL

    Answer by aheuszel at 7:01 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • don't worry, no judge in his right mind is going to relinquish child support so they can go have another baby. look at it this way: if they're struggling to afford more rounds of IVF, why is someone going to enable them financially to try for more?

    his wife is a bitch, and probably has him by the balls. it sounds like he's just stuck in the middle and doesn't know what to say or do.

    she really doesn't have the right to speak to your daughter (a 3 year old child nonetheless!) that way. that would be my biggest concern right now. he should put a muzzle on her in front of the child, atleast.

    this is very sensitive for me because my ex's wife is a lot like this. she would never say anything like in my earshot though. im sorry you have to deal with her. but again, don't worry about the CS. it's not going anywhere!

    Answer by tnm786 at 7:02 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • That woman is crazy. First of all she picked a man who had a child already and knew that he would have to support his child. That was her choice. She could have picked someone who had no other kids to support if she didnt want her husbands money going somewhere else. Secondly wow they told a young child that they cant have a baby because they have to help support her that is so wrong. Do not feel bad he is court ordered and even if you did agree you didnt need it a judge would probably say its for the child and you cant just not take it. I had a friend in the usaf a single dad who told the judge he didnt want child support from the mom and the judge said youre getting it.
    Not to mention they may try every thing on the planet and still not be able to have a child. She sounds like she is trying to take out her infertility out on you since she has nobody else to blame.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 7:03 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • SM sounds like a real biotch. She should go F herself. Literally. Maybe then she'll have a baby. LOL! There is no way a judge would go for him not paying child support for his kid who is here already so a non working woman can have a baby. As far as I know, IVF costs thousands and thousands of dollars, what will $400/month do to help them afford it?

    Answer by keisha613 at 7:04 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • He's taking care of the child he has with the CS money. If he's not pushing the issue, don't worry about it. If it's court ordered, not much can be done. I'm not really sure how to help HER, but for you, sometimes extra for a rainy day is better than struggling to make ends meet. G'luck and hope everything works out.

    Answer by Imortlmommy at 7:04 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Oh, I dont' think they would try it in court but they did try to get my dd taken from me because I work at Hooters

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:59 PM on Jan. 24, 2011