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5 Bumps

What happend to my realationship?!

Since our daughter was born my boyfriend and me have been contantly annoyed by eachother, it doesnt seem like there is a spark there. we have been together a little over 2 years and you would think we have been married 20 years! what happend? and how can I bring us back to how we were??

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DanicasMama

Asked by DanicasMama at 7:27 PM on Jan. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Well a new baby in the home can cause stress. Maybe take a day for just each other.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 7:30 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Honeymoon's over. -Sigh- I picked up a book called the 5 Love Languages, the Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman. It shows how we can communicate to bring love back into the marriage after the "in love" stage fades. I'm not sure what happened to your marriage, but it seems that even after having a baby, things start to change. You hit routine and the stress of life takes hold. You can still make time for each other if you want things to work out. Time is definitely a key thing. G'luck!
    Imortlmommy

    Answer by Imortlmommy at 7:32 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Talk to him and tell him how you feel. That happened ti me and my husband after our daughter was born. There's much going on so many changes. Things will get better have faith a new baby is a big change its not just you two anymore
    morenarfr05

    Answer by morenarfr05 at 7:39 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • A new baby changes a lot in a relationship, it changes the whole dynamic really. I love the 5 love languages too, its a good read. Just keep trying, and showing how much you love and apreciate your spouse. Do something nice that HE will enjoy, and try to bring that spark back a bit.
    -LovingMamma-

    Answer by -LovingMamma- at 7:39 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • We've been married 22 years, and are still "in love". It's really important to make time for each other separate from all of the stress of every day life. I know this isn't easy. We didn't have anyone to watch our boys when they were little, and couldn't afford a babysitter very often, but we still had "date night" once a week. After the boys were in bed, on Saturday nights, it was just about our relationship. We'd have a late dinner and flirt...watch a romantic movie together, light a fire, have a glass of wine and listen to music and talk......something about us as a couple.

    Your relationship doesn't have to lose it's spark....but it does take work to maintain it. Make your relationship a priority if you want it to last.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 7:41 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I just got done reading 5 Love Languages. I really likes it and it helps me, now its getting him to read it. im afraid of the same thing happening when our baby gets here in april. we been together 4 years. i wish you the best and congrats!
    mommyoftristan

    Answer by mommyoftristan at 7:48 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • wow thank you everyone for your support!

    I am angry at him a lot because I feel like he doesnt help me as much as he should, I work more, make more money, on top of all that I cook, clean, and take care of our daughter the most. I have a lot of built up anger towards him for that. I try to hid it but I am constantly nagging him. He does need to do more, but how do talk to him about it without him thinking im "nagging" or "bitching" at him.
    I want to make things work between us, but I dont think he will ever help out more, and I dont think I will ever be ok with doing pretty much all the work. there for, it seems like there will always be a tension between us.
    DanicasMama

    Comment by DanicasMama (original poster) at 7:57 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • a new baby is always stressfull try to have some romantic play time when you can and if not each of you spend a night away from eachother blowing off some steam and missing eachother can be quite helpful.
    Destins_Mommy

    Answer by Destins_Mommy at 1:31 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • a baby is a major life chaanging event. It causes much stresss you are sleep deprieved their are hormones in the are could be financial worries. Relax it will all come together,
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 1:22 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • You sound like my old life. I'm now divorced. I'd suggest making a list of chores and stuff that needs to get done. You guys can pick and choose what you want to do. Having a baby changes the dynamics of a relationship and is stressful at first. There's light at the end of the tunnel. they start growing and by one year they will be walking and eating diffrent stuff. By two they'll be talking and u can communicate more. By three years old, it'll be more like hanging out and having fun. :)
    p.s. you can add me on facebook if u'd like http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1396025864

    Good luck!
    istealcookies

    Answer by istealcookies at 1:31 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

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