Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

Has anyone adopted a good friend whose like a sisters baby, and if so how did it work out for you over the years?

My hubby and I are adopting a friends baby ive know since highschool, she is an amazing person and we have always been close, shes moving home to another state after the baby is placed with us and its a closed adoption excpet what we have already decided to share...she will be tummy mommy or auntie (blank) and im wondeirng if anyone has had a similar experince?

 
KPrice777

Asked by KPrice777 at 7:41 PM on Jan. 24, 2011 in Adoption

Level 8 (231 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • If you both know each other, it will not be a closed adoption. A closed adoption means the parties involved have no identifying information. Do you mean there will be no visits? If so, I urge you to research the benefits for a child in having an open adoption.

    As a birth mom, if I had a good friend who wanted me to adopt her baby, I would first try to make certain she did not want to or could not parent herself. I hope for your sake and hers that you do that. Also, try to educate her as much as possible about how the affects of relinquishment on children and mothers.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 10:10 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • KPRICE, I, like SR., must ask, why if you are such good friends, have you NOT attempted to help her, even if ONLY by waiting until after HER baby is born, and letting her see if she is able to parent. That, IMHO, would be a good friend, and if she needs a place to stay, offer her that as well. Now, as a First Mom, myself,and knowing what a "true" closed adoption has done to me, I cannot for the life of me, understand why any of the adults involved, would even consider it being closed. All indications point to 'open' adoption being better for the child, in ALL aspects of its life . I would suggest highly you research / read several books about adoption BEFORE attempting to become an adopter. 'Women who lose babies to adoption NEVER forget, and their loss is unresolvable, adoption families are indeed different therefore adoptive parenting is as well">~Joe Soll CSW. Blessings, be a "real' friend by helping her,CJ
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 4:11 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • Just as mothers are able to love more than one child, children are able to love more than one mother. She is his mother, not a "tummy mommy" or an "Aunt." I think those things get more confusing than just telling a child the truth.

    I agree with the others. Does your friend want to keep her baby? Does she need support that you or someone can help her find?

    Has she considered temporary or permanent guardianship instead of adoption? Adoption legally erases her family as being her child's family and seals the child's birth certificate and original identity.
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 6:16 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Don't do a closed adoption!
    lilsweetpea708

    Answer by lilsweetpea708 at 9:38 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • dont do a closed adoption, i honestly regret doing an adoption i had chosen to do an open adoption with a couple and they lied they closed me off and now i dont get anything not even a picture. it kills me every day not knowing how my baby girl is doing. if you do the adoption make an open adoption and dont close her out

    mamaslove4ever

    Answer by mamaslove4ever at 2:50 AM on Jan. 29, 2011

  • wow you all are so off, apprently you can understand our entire situation from a tiny paragraph, i was just curious if anyone had adopted with a friend and not an agency, of course it will be open, honestly thats just ovbious its only closed legally and that was her choice, theres no way i wouldnt have her in our lives still, note she has been my friend for 13 yrs... anyway glad to know your all strong independent and opinionated women...
    KPrice777

    Comment by KPrice777 (original poster) at 3:05 PM on Feb. 4, 2011